Interesting Milestone

We just passed a very interesting milestone back on Oct 12th. On that day Tzipora was the exact same age that the twins were on the day she was born. Pretty wild, isn't it? And we only just started TTC. Funny how things change as time goes on.

Speaking of TTC, we're hanging into today at 6dpo. I'm still reeling at the fact I actually ovulated on time, CD 15. The wildness of that to me is completely mind-boggling. I looked back at my past ovulation charts - and I have the past 6 years in charts - and the only times I've ever ovulated prior to day 16 were when I was on Follistim and/or took an hCG shot to trigger ovulation at a certain time. And even with that, I only rarely ovulated prior to day 20 of my cycle while not on any actual fertility medication (ie Metformin, Clomid, etc.) When I was using Chinese herbs and FertilAid (waaaaaay back when I was TTC #1) I ovulated on day 18 or 19 a few times, but even when I was on Metformin I usually ovulated on day 17! Maybe this was a fluke and next cycle (if there is one) I'll go back to having crazy late ovulation, but I'm hoping not. It feels good to be normal. :-) The fact is, if I got pregnant this month I would actually be able to give my midwife my real LMP and get my real due date! That's beyond cool. With both the twins and Tzipora I gave my OB/midwife a made up LMP that I concocted based on the actual day I ovulated/had my retrieval so she would have my correct due date and not an inaccurate one. Would the extra 2 days have actually made a difference with my care? Well, with the twins it would have put me as 35w3d instead of 35w1d at their birth...not a big deal considering they did fine regardless. Tzipora was born at 39 weeks, so their records would have stated 39w2d. But...had I gone "overdue" with Tzipora, the extra two days could have meant the difference between having an induction forced on me or not. This is why I like accuracy when dealing with pregnancy! I don't want any practitioners claiming I am 42 weeks pregnant when I am still 41w5d and could give birth on my own. For some women who ovulate weeks late, this is HUGE! And this is also why it is SO IMPORTANT to either know your ovulation date or to have an early ultrasound (like 6 or 7 weeks) to date your pregnancy accurately. One of my doula clients has a habit of going late...like all the way to 42 weeks according to her midwife. But really, she ovulates nearly a week "late"...so she's really more like 41 1/2 weeks when she gives birth! She's narrowly escaped Pitocin induction twice now because she's begged and pleaded to be left alone until 42 weeks. Had she made up a LMP based on her ovulation (or close to it), she would have gained some extra time. Now then, I'm not saying to go hog wild and randomly pick a date here. If you know your exact ovulation date, use it to calculate back a LMP if you haven't ovulated on CD 15. If you don't know the exact ovulation date but have a range of a few days, pick one of them. If you are completely 100% clueless, get as early an ultrasound as possible. The earlier on, the more accurate the date they will give you.

Speaking of pregnancy, I had some super weird dreams the other day about being pregnant and giving birth. Yeah, I know...you're all going to say "But Elana! You only have really weird dreams when you are pregnant!" And then I'm going to tell you to shut your face because I already know that and it's creeping me out. Anyhoo, in dream #1 I was actually in labor....and it hurt, too. But then my mother walked in and interrupted and my body was all "YIKES MOM IS HERE!" and stopped being in labor. LOL I was kinda pissed about that. In my second dream I actually gave birth. From what I remember it was pretty fast and Heavyn and Melanie were my doulas. (That is actually what I would LOVE to happen for real next time I give birth, but anyway...) I was all proud of myself for having them as doulas and not needing a "professional" one. Though honestly if I were going to do this in real life I would train both of them in the preceding months to make sure they'd be superb doulas anyway. But the kicker was that the baby was a girl, and I was NOT happy. I was all "Seriously? Another girl? No freaking way..." LOL My third dream was about school, but I don't really remember what happened.

Other symptoms this week: I am extraordinarily gassy. It's completely obnoxious and painful at times. I hate those gas bubbles! I've also had a bit of the runs, which is not fun either. I've been a bit dizzy too, but that's not really new. I've had horrific orthostatic hypotension ever since I started taking a beta blocker for my migraines, so it's most likely related to that.

I'm sure you've all been dying for an update on my London trip, right? Well there's nothing really new to report. As of the last time I chatted with Steve they don't really need any extra help, but Eoin is also completely consumed with filming the movie and isn't in the mindset to even be thinking about the convention. So I asked Steve if he would reconnoiter with Eoin after filming and ask again - this time making it super clear how much it would mean to me to help out - and he said he would. I still have some hope left! But no news on who the other two special guests are. There haven't even been any clues since my last post. I'll keep you updated on that front when I know more.

Two Weeks...

Can anyone guess what happens exactly two weeks from today? My husband guessed it (and it only took him about 60 seconds with no hints). Look at your calendar...it will be Friday, December 3rd. Take a look at my little baby ticker and it might give you a hint as well. In just two short weeks I will be 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. It will be the exact gestation that I gave birth to the twins. It is a milestone I am *so* excited to be reaching (and passing right by). I am fully confident that I will still be pregnant when I finish that day, and that I'll continue to be pregnant for a few weeks after that. :-) Yay!

In other news, the baby is doing well. I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday and it went great. I'm having random Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are normal, and the most obnoxious leg cramps in the universe. I wake up and move my leg and then holy heck, my calf muscle seizes up and feels like someone plunged a knife right in. Luckily, I know that you're supposed to pull your toes upward (toward the knee) and it does help, although it takes a few seconds to work. Unfortunately all day it's been kind of achy, as if the muscle really needs to stretch out.

In other, other news....I'M GOING TO SEE HARRY POTTER ON SUNDAY!!!!! I seriously could not be more excited. WHEEEE!!

Doing OK

I've been doing ok since being discharged from the hospital. I got nearly no sleep on Friday night. I kept waking up every hour and there was a spot on my back that hurt SO badly! I tried everything...changing positions, cold pack, tylenol, and finally a hot pack. It was the hot pack that took away the pain, but I still couldn't sleep. Last night I did MUCH better! Slept all the way from approx 1am to 6:30am! I also have to make sure I keep my legs up...my right ankle is way swollen. I'm going to start wearing the compression stockings I got, and I need to consciously remember to keep it elevated. I never realized how uncomfortable swollen ankles are! It just feels so funny.

My mom came to visit last week and brought us a ton of baby clothes (including hand-me-downs from my sister and me). My mother-in-law also keeps sending us packages with clothes in it. Man, baby clothes are SOOOO cute! I'd take pictures of all of it, but it would require me to stand for a long period of time in order to show you everything. We also had all of our furniture delivered last week, so we actually have a nursery! How cool is that? Now I just need to get all of my clothes out of the nursery closet so I can fill it with baby clothes. :-)

Numb Belly

I discovered the other day that there are numb patches on my stomach (really just the area surrounding my belly button). I asked the doctor about it today and she says it's normal because my skin is sooooo stretched out. I wonder if I get my whole belly numb if I won't have to feel contractions? :-)

Speaking of contractions, the Braxton-Hicks are really annoying. They're still not painful (on my stomach), but I am feeling pain in my back and bladder. Oh man, every time I have a contraction it feels as if my bladder was 150% full. Now that's pain... Thank goodness it only lasts as long as the contraction and then my bladder goes back to feeling "normal" fullness. :-)

So, the doctor says all of my various symptoms are normal (and many are to be expected). On very good notes, my Braxton-Hicks contractions aren't affecting my cervix at all, my blood pressure is great and there are no warning signs of anything else (i.e. no protein or sugar in urine and my fetal fibronectin tests are all negative). The babies are in the same positions as always--Baby A head down, Baby B transverse. I've decided that they're making a T for Tamakwa. heh (Tamakwa deserves it's own post if you really want me to explain, and no, it's not a Yiddish or Hebrew word and has very little to do with Judaism.) I also only have about a week and a half left of the progesterone and then I'm done! My hubby got all freaked out when I said I was stopping it. He's like "but it's so early!" So I told him that just because I'm done with it, doesn't mean I'll go into labor the next day. Besides, I'll already be about 33 weeks. The only thing the progesterone is doing is helping to keep the cervix closed, but really the cerclage is doing the hard work. If the doctor is going to take out my cerclage at 34 or 35 weeks, I don't think stopping the progesterone a week or two beforehand is going to do any harm. My cervix isn't just going to suddenly open up...although that would be a pretty neat trick and make the whole labor and delivery thing much easier. :-)

Ultrasound tomorrow, and I posted a new belly pic this evening!

Sleeping

Sleeping has become rather difficult. First, I get tired at strange hours. I could stay up till 3am and still toss and turn for hours. But then once I'm asleep, I could go until noon (or later) with bathroom breaks every few hours. Secondly, I can't get comfortable no matter what I do. Left side, right side, back (propped up), nothing works... And changing positions is a whole other story. I don't know how my husband sleeps through that (he might not...) It's like an earthquake! *sigh* And once the babies arrive, I'm going to have no chance to sleep. Oh well.

I've decided that the underside of my belly is totally gross. I can't see it, of course, but it feels like cottage cheese (aka cellulite) gone wrong. It's all bumpy. :-( It might be stretch marks, but either way it's going to be ugly. The rest of my belly is FULL of stretch marks, but I'm pretty sure they'll fade nicely once I get back to normal size. Well, that's the price you pay!:-)

Bathroom

When my father A"H was sick, he used to track on a piece of paper every time he went to the bathroom. He had bladder cancer along with kidney issues, so he used the bathroom quite frequently. Last night I woke up to use the bathroom at least 3 or 4 times, so it reminded me of this. And when I'm awake, with Baby A pressing on my bladder, I have to go every time I stand up. I guess my body is just prepping me for feeding every two hours once the babies arrive. Now I know how my mother felt searching for a bathroom at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier 30+ years ago. I think I'd freak out if I went somewhere and they didn't have a "public" bathroom. Good thing I'm on bed rest where there's always a bathroom nearby!

I think I forgot to update you all on my cervix check. It's actually looking better than it has since I got the cerclage in--measuring between 1.9 and 2 cm. And that's even after decreasing my progesterone supplement by half (on doctors orders, of course). Go me! If it wasn't so slippery outside, I'd ask the doctor for permission to go out and do something fun, but I'm not taking any chances with snow and ice. It's good to have an excuse not to brave the cold.

Big Day

Well, we made it! 24 weeks! For those who don't know, this is when doctors have determined "official" viability--and babies born now have more than a 50% chance of survival (although I read somewhere that with intervention it's closer to 90%, but I think that's being a bit optimistic...)

My memory is starting to slip, though. Yesterday I put eggs on the stove to boil and forgot about them for over a 1/2 hour. Luckily, eggs don't overcook so easily and they turned out fine. Today, though, I left a bag of popcorn in the microwave for a full 5 minutes. It's kinda burnt, but not inedible. :-) Just so you know, my microwave is not that powerful and it generally takes about 3.5 to 4 mins to cook a bag, not the 2.5 it tells you to leave it in for. There were also still some unpopped kernels at the bottom of the bag, so you'll never get them all to pop no matter what. lol

Will update tomorrow with the report from the OB, although there probably won't be much to report. I think I may have a yeast infection from the antibiotics I took earlier in the month for my UTI, so we'll see if I'm right (or if I have another UTI ick).

Mazal Tov and Chanukkah

My friend had a baby boy!! I don't know if he was born on Wed night or Thurs morning, but I'm sure I'll find out eventually. They are having a shalom zachor tonight, but I'm not 100% sure if I'm going to let my hubby go. We're expecting this gigantic snow storm, and even though it's not a particularly far walk (and he will have already walked to and from shul earlier on), I really don't want him to slip and fall--he already did that once today and the snow hasn't even started yet. :-)

One of our friends brought over food for Shabbos, but my hubby is making a cholent for Shabbos lunch just in case there isn't enough for two meals. Yum!

In other news, I'm having SO much trouble sleeping. Insomnia, back pain, can't get comfortable, mind racing, can hear heartbeat while lying down, etc. It takes forever to fall asleep and then I keep waking up. I have no idea how much sleep I got last night...I laid down around 11pm and woke up officially around 9:45am, but that doesn't mean I got more than 5 or 6 hours. lol

Chanukkah starts Sunday night! A pyromaniac's favorite holiday...get to light one more candle every night. Just so everyone knows, Chanukkah has nothing to do with Christmas and is not one of Judaisms most important holidays. Basically, Antiocus IV (king of the Seleucids) outlawed Judaism and desicrated the Beis Hamikdosh. We defeated them and re-dedicated the Beis Hamikdosh around 165 BCE. There are two miracles that are celebrated at Chanukkah. Firstly, we defeated the Seleucids with a MUCH, MUCH smaller army, and secondly, when we went to re-dedicate the Beis HaMikdosh we only found enough oil to light the Menorah in the Beis HaMikdosh for one day. The oil used for this purpose is very special oil, so we were lucky to even find that amount, but it was going to take much longer to produce more. The oil, however, lasted for 8 days, which gave us time to make more. So, we light candles on a Chanukiyah every night of the holiday--starting with one for the first night, two on the second night, etc. There is also one candle that lights the others, so it is always lit first. There are other traditions of eating a rediculous amount of fried foods--latkes and in Israel they make special jelly donuts called sufganiyot--to celebrate the oil. mmmmm Fried happiness... Happy Chanukkah!

Click HERE for my list of Hebrew & Yiddish word definitions

Mazal Tov!

One of my IRL friends here had a baby girl on Friday!! She had been thinking it was a boy, but I had had a dream (waaay back before even I got pregnant) that I was playing with three babies--twin boy & girl, who were mine, and another baby girl, who I assumed to be my friend's. Well, I was right and she was wrong. :-D I believe both mother and baby are doing well and hope to see them within a day or so (they live about 5 houses down the street). The poor thing was in labor for 29 hours--half at home with a doula and the other half in the hospital so she could get an epidural. I know she wanted to go natural (as do I), but even I would be begging for something if my labor dragged on like that!

Other than that, nothing's been happening. My belly almost always feels like it's stretching...and it's totally unconfortable. For those non-preggo's and males out there, you know what it feels like after Thanksgiving dinner when you KNOW you've eaten WAAAY too much and your bellly feels like it's going to explode? Yeah, that's the feeling 24/7 over here. :-) Not complaining, as I'll take any symptom pregnancy brings me, just stating a fact. Also been having some trouble sleeping...like I just can't get comfortable on my left side and I REALLY want to sleep on my back. I tried to prop myself up a bit, but by the time I woke up in the morning, I think I'd been sleeping nearly flat on my back for hours. WHOOPS! Oh well, not much I can do about it.

Uncommunicative

Sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately, but nothing's been happening. I can't get my scanner to work, so no u/s pics until that happens. No new symptoms--still have BIZARRE dreams, one of which my husband actually laughed at, my nausea comes and goes, still tired, and I got up to pee at least twice last night (may have been three, but I can't really remember...I was barely awake at the time and am surprised I actually made it all the way into the bathroom and back without getting lost). I've been getting some headaches since my doctor told me to stop the baby aspirin (and I think the two are probably related) and my blood pressure has been up ever since I got pregnant (today it was 125/85 with a heart rate of 94...it's usually around 110/70 or lower).

In other news, I'm 9 weeks today! Here's the update from fertility friend:

The crown-to-rump length of your baby is about 1.25 to 1.68 inches (between 3.1 and 4.2cm). He weighs about 0.18 ounces (5g).

The placenta is now producing progesterone which helps to make nutrients for your developing baby.

Your baby has passed the stage when he is most susceptible to damage. By the end of this week, the danger zone for congenital abnormalities has passed.

The plan for your baby's body has been completely laid down by now. Further growth and cell division will build on this plan.

Taste and tooth buds have appeared.

Your baby has recently developed fingers and toes which are now well-formed. Ankles, wrists and the inner ear have formed. Your baby's nose is flat and his eyes are far apart. His eyes, ears, mouth and nose are all recognizable. The tail is disappearing.

Your baby is moving around the amniotic sac, and moving his feet and ankles. You still will not be able to feel these movements but you may be able to see them on an ultrasound.

Blood is circulating through the arteries and the vein of the umbilical cord.

The brain of your baby is developing at a phenomenal rate. About one quarter of a million new neurons are produced every single minute at this stage in your pregnancy.

If your baby is a boy, his testes, though they are not even clearly visible, are already producing testosterone.

Your baby is no longer called an embryo, but rather a fetus.

Smelly People

I had 3 different people come into the bank today who smelled SOOOO badly. I couldn't tell if it was B/O or if they'd been smoking cigarettes or what, but it was naaaaasty. Now, if it had been 1 person, I could have shrugged it off as just a person being unusually smelly. But 3? No, that's pregnancy. :-) Maybe 1 of them was particularly smelly, but the other ones probably were not--and I just smelled them because my nose is overactive. But good grief! I thought I was going to pass out!

Also, I had THE MOST BIZARRE dream last night. When I'm not pregnant I probably dream less than once a week, but since I've become pregnant I've had at least 3 very weird dreams. In the first one, my husband was trying to divorce me, G-d forbid, and I know that would never happen and it was very strange. In the second one, I was trying to go back to college to get a degree in music (at the college I did actually graduate from) and my middle school music teacher (who is THE BEST music teacher EVER and who now lives in Colorado) was teaching there. (In response to hearing about this dream, my mom said, "Of course you wanted to go back to school...Mr. Ramsey was teaching!") lol In the third dream (the one I had last night), I was having an affair with someone I knew in high school, G-d forbid, which is again something that would never, ever happen and was incredibly bizarre. This is just to show you how bizarre pregnancy dreams are. Although that music dream isn't too bizarre because I've had ones like it...but the other ones were pretty shocking to me. I'd much prefer having nice dreams about my husband...use your imagination on that one. ;-)

Symptoms

Well, although there are times during the day when I almost forget that I'm pregnant because of a total lack of symptoms, there are other times when I'm like "Ok, I got it! I didn't really forget that you're in there!"

Warning--the next two paragraphs discuss various parts of my anatomy, so please do not read them if you don't want to... :-)

Now then, my boobs are very uncomfortable. My boobs have never been uncomfortable before--not even during my period. But they just feel wrong, at times have little painful areas, and my nipples are unhappy too. I think (although it's hard to tell) that they may have grown a bit. They're pretty big to begin with, so it's difficult to tell if they're any bigger...but I believe that they are.

I also think I have a plethora of discharge "down there". Yes, I take progesterone suppositories, but I now only take it once a day and there's no way that the progesterone I put in last night at 11PM is still hanging around today at 6:30PM making things feel squishy.

As for a symptom I don't have--that would be morning sickness. Instead, I'm constantly hungry with no sign of nausea (yet...) I feel like I could just keep eating 24/7. I don't necessarily crave anything in particular, and I don't have any food aversions now that I wouldn't have had pre-pregnancy (I didn't like meat then and I still don't like it). I'm trying to keep a food log so I don't overindulge, but it's hard when you want to stuff your face ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

Symptom Day

Firstly, my cervix has a mind of its own and it sorta hanging out in its "medium" position (which is better than low, but not as good as high lol). Secondly, I have had the most BIZARRE taste in my mouth all day long. Thirdly, I am completely and utterly exhausted. My eyes are twitching and I'm just pooped. Fourthly, every hour or so I get a weird queasy feeling only for a few moments, but it's strange and noticeable. Not enough to feel *really* sick, but just an "ick, I feel gross" moment. Fifthly, my brain is totally out to lunch. It's just plain not working today. Sixthly, I've been feeling kinda dizzy at times too. Seventhly, I am even clumsier than usual! (And I'm pretty clumsy...) I'm dropping things, banging into walls, etc. Eighthly, (and this is TMI) I've gone to the bathroom a lot today (both #1 and #2)...

Gee, I hope all my symptoms stay! :-D

Going Out of my Mind

I really just can’t take this anymore. I sincerely believe that we’ve failed this cycle. My cervical position is way down, the way it usually is in my LP…with no signs of anything. I just found out that another of my friends is pregnant (and due in December). I’m just wondering why it’s so easy for some and so difficult for others?! How is it that someone can actually get pregnant naturally? With no help from anyone except her husband. Why do I have to try so hard only to be let down every month? Why can’t I just get pregnant already??!! What the HE** is going on???? What does my body fight me? Why do my embryos suck? Why can’t they implant properly? Why don’t they stick? WHY WHY WHY? Why must I cry myself to sleep? And make my husband feel as if he’s done something wrong…which, of course, he hasn’t. Why can’t my doctors find anything wrong? What must we do? What more tests do we need? What other interventions are there? HOW AM I GOING TO HAVE MY OWN CHILD?!?!?!?!?

I seriously don’t know how to deal with this. On the one hand I want a baby so badly that I would do just about anything. On the other hand I really don’t want to care anymore…I don’t want to try anymore and I sure as he** don’t want to take any more shots or have my blood drawn. I just don’t want to cry anymore…