Thursday, October 2, 2008

Unconditionally Happy

I finally figured out how I had the zechus (merit) to get pregnant with these miracle babies. There is a very lovely couple in my community who tried for many, many years to get pregnant and eventually did have two boys (not twins). Those boys are now grown up and living out of town. One of their two boys has three children B"H, but the other has had trouble conceiving ever since he was married several years ago. I felt so deeply about this couple because they had to watch his brother have child after child without being blessed themselves--and of course I knew how they felt in terms of not being able to get pregnant. I don't know exacly what their journey entailed, but I do know that surgery was involved. In any case, I found out that they were pregnant right when I was starting my IVF cycle BCPs. When his mother told me, I was so happy that I stood there and started to cry. For the first time, I was honestly 100% truly happy for someone who had become pregnant. I also found out that they had gotten pregnant right after I had back in January, so I basically told myself that if I needed to miscarry in order for them to become pregnant, then so be it. And THAT is how I believe I had the zechus (merit) for G-d to give me these miracles. B"H This couple had a beautiful (full-term) baby boy today!!!

7 comments:

margelina said...

That's interesting. I don't know much about Judism, but it is very interesting to read and learn from you. Your story is sort of like "for every death, there is a birth" like my grandma used to say. I think that is a really great way for you to look at it, especially since it seems to make your pain over your loss a little easier!

itsazooaroundhere said...

Great post! I recently found out a good friend who had been struggling with IF was pregnant, and I was completely happy for her (also for the first time). It's a wonderful feeling.

Here from Creme de la Creme

The Steadfast Warrior said...

Here from Creme...

Just after my last m/c I found out the my cousin's girlfriend was pregnant and due right around when I was supposed to be. At first I was upset but then I found out they had had miscarriages too. It was a good reminder that from the outside you never know the struggles others may have gone through.

I love that you were able to find genuine joy for them. Lovely post.

annacyclopedia said...

A very lovely post. It is wonderful when we can connect with that true joy that has no conditions, isn't it?

Here from the Creme.

Patricia said...

Via la Creme...

I believe in this. My Pastor recently focused on

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

I felt instantly convicted. I have often felt the familiar twinges of jealousy and want when hearing pregnancy announcements. But when my SIL became pregnant, I had truly ugly thoughts of which I am ashamed and saddened.

This concept - being joyful with those who experience joy - is an important call on my life. Thank you for helping to clarify these thoughts.

A n T said...

Here from the Creme: Thanks for sharing your post....although I don't personally agree with it....thanks for sharing.

JuliaS said...

Its nice to know that even though sometimes it is hard to be happy for someone else, or rather we tend to be jealous (or saddened for ourselves), you can still be happy for someone. Reaffirms that you really are a decent person after all.

Good wishes.

Creme de la creme 2008