Trying to be Positive

Well, on the bright side, we've taken care of more of my "worst case scenario" questions from Tuesday morning. Here goes:

2) What happens if they get in there and none of the eggs I have are mature?

• Well, at least 2 of them were mature (and even fertilized)...we don't yet know about the other 6, but the answer to this question is still "didn't happen".

4) What happens if they get a whole bunch of great eggs but none of them fertilize?

• Well, at least 2 of them were fertilized...again, we don't yet know about the other 6, but the answer to this question is also "didn't happen".

Only 2 questions left to answer, and one will be answered tomorrow...the other will take a little while.

*sigh*

2 embryos...8 eggs, and only 2 are still around. I'm in total shock and completely devastated. They wouldn't tell me the grade or what happened to the other 6, but I'm so scared that they'll say they all fertilized and then they all died... I'd rather them say that the 6 were immature (because that can be fixed with holding off on the hCG shot and/or giving a higher dose of Follistim) or that 6 didn't fertilize at all (because that can be fixed with ICSI).

Please G-d...just give me a baby! Please watch over these 2 remaining embryos because they are my children. Please help them to grow properly and have either one or both of them implant into my uterus so that they can continue to grow. Please...I really don't want to go through this again next month!!

IVF #1 S/A

I literally just got the call from my clinic about my hubby's sperm numbers from his sample given before my retrieval, so here goes.

Before washing:
Concentration: 85 million (normal = more than 20 million; best = more than 90 million)
Motility: 51% (normal = more than 50%; best = more than 60%)
Morphology: 29% abnormal (normal = less than 70% abnormal)
Forward Progression: 3 (It's a scale from 1 to 4 with 4 being the best and 2.5 being average)

After washing:
Concentration: 17.6 million
Motility: 95%
Morphology: 9% abnormal
Forward Progression: 4 (That's amazing!)

It's not as amazing as some of his others, but the fact that it's IVF and not IUI makes me happy--you really only need one per egg and they're put together in a very small space. So I'd say 15 million sperm to fertilize 8 eggs is pretty good odds. LOL

Best.Clinic.Ever.

So, my infertility center is the best clinic ever...no question. Last night I called around 10pm just to ask if it would be ok for me to "be with" my husband. I had just had my retrieval earlier in the day and wasn't sure if it was ok to "do it" before the transfer (since I won't be "doing it" after the transfer). The nurse who returned my call made me feel as if I had just called her during normal business hours, not even one inkling that I had interrupted her evening and she didn't make me feel as if my question was stupid or could've waited until the morning (which it couldn't if I wanted to have fun that night!). She was just inceredible.

Then, the nurse from the PACU (that's the unit where they do the retrievals, transfers, etc.) called me today just to check in and make sure I was doing ok. Yes, she had told me at the retrieval that she would be calling to check in, but still...it's just such a nice thing to do.

There are many, many other reasons why my clinic rocks, but these are just two recent examples that show how awesome they are.

Wheeeew!

Ok, it's over so now I can breathe. The retrieval went great and I wasn't even freaking out or anything. It was actually kind of funny--when I got into the OR I knew the anesthesiologist was messing around with my IV while the nurses were keeping my attention and having me get on the bed, legs in stirrups, lie down, etc. Once I was almost situated I said, "Did the Dr already start the drip? I'm feeling kinda tired." The nurse smiled and said, "yes". The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery with my hubby just arriving and me thinking "gee, that was quick and easy". LOL

As for my freak out questions this morning, we've already taken care of some of them:

1) What happens if they get in there and see that I've already ovulated all of my eggs?

• Well, that just didn't happen...

3) What happens if they get in there and find nothing in my follicles?

• This also didn't happen...they aspirated 8 follicles and found 8 eggs. :-)

7) What if something goes wrong during the retrieval and I just don't wake up CV"S?!?

• Fact is, I'm writing this post and don't feel any more bizarre than I did this morning or yesterday (yeah I'm tired, but I was tired yesterday too). And I obviously woke up. :-)

There you have it, 8 eggs and we'll see what happens to them on Thursday.

Terrified

I am soooo nervous about my retrieval. Only 3 and a half hours to go and I'm already freaking out.

1) What happens if they get in there and see that I've already ovulated all of my eggs?
2) What happens if they get in there and none of the eggs I have are mature?
3) What happens if they get in there and find nothing in my follicles?
4) What happens if they get a whole bunch of great eggs but none of them fertilize?
5) What happens if they get a whole bunch of great eggs that fertilize, but they all die before the transfer?
(this is starting to remind me of the Passover song "Dayenu"...)
6) What if everything goes well (even the transfer and freezing), but I just don't get pregnant?
7) What if something goes wrong during the retrieval and I just don't wake up CV"S?!? (I know that sounds completely rediculous...it's a 15 minute procedure, it's not even general anesthesia, I'll be breathing on my own and even be monitored the whole time, and I don't believe ANYONE has ever died during an egg retrieval...plus the fact that these guys have done THOUSANDS of egg retrievals and I'm not even their first today...)

I'm just praying that everything goes swimmingly and that at the very least I wake up normally sometime within 15 mins or so after the retrieval. :-)

P.S. If you're curious about the song "Dayenu" go look it up or I can explain further on another post if you're stuck.
P.P.S. CV"S stands for chas v'shalom and basically means G-d forbid.

Woo hoo!!!

So, I actually had the same ultrasound tech today as on Friday, but I guess she was more on the ball this morning. Here are the results:

estradiol: 2579 pg/ml
endometrium: 13.3mm
left ovary: 19mm, 18.5mm, 17mm, 16.5mm, 16mm, 15mm, 12mm, 11.5mm (total of 8)
right ovary: 16.5mm, 15.5mm, 14.5mm, 14mm, 13.5mm (total of 5)

Grand total: 13 follicles (which will all hopefully be mature by Tuesday!)

So the doc is having me trigger tonight at midnight and I'm having the retrieval on Tuesday at noon (eep!). I'm really nervous about the sedation for the retrieval, because I've never been put to sleep before...if anyone has any comforting words about it, please send them!!

Follie Check

The ultrasound tech today didn't seem to be the most competant, but she was very sweet. After seeing 23 prospective follies and an 8mm endometrium on my last check, I was shocked to find only 8 measurable follies and a 13mm endometrium (it's only been 3 days). In any case, my estradiol was at 840 pg/ml and I (supposedly) only have 3 follies on my left (14mm, 12.5mm, and 10.5mm) and 5 follies on my right (15mm, 13mm, 11mm, 11mm, and 10mm). I'm hoping it's just the tech having a bad day and not finding everything. We'll see what happens on Sunday (and hopefully I'll get someone else)!

Follies

So, I have 13 small follicles (under 10mm) on the left and 10 small ones (under 10mm) on the right side. Now what I'm wondering is if this is normal... I've been stimulating at 125IU of Follistim for 4 days and I don't have any larger follicles yet?!?! My endometrium is already at 8mm, so that's fine. My estradiol was around 200 pg/ml, LH around 3 mIU/ml and Progesterone around .3 ng/ml--so those are all normal. Has anyone else had this??? Am I going nuts? I go back on Friday for another follie check, so I hope that I have a bunch of big ones by then...but I'm kinda nervous...
:-(

Waiting

I really hate this waiting... I started my stims for IVF on Friday, so I've done 3 doses of 125IU Follistim, and I just want to know how many eggs I'm going to have. I know it sounds silly, but I don't like to be kept in suspense! And I have to wait until Tuesday morning for my follie scan to find out...and I'm terrified that I'm only going to have 1 or 2 nice ones--even though they nearly doubled my dose from before. I'm also scared that my endometrium lining will suck. I'm just terrified that they're going to cancel the cycle and I REALLY don't want that to happen. I just want a baby already!!!!