Saturday, May 28, 2011

I'm Angry and Depressed...

I'm Angry and Depressed...

because no one would listen to me, and therefore a huge deal was made out of absolutely nothing.

because lashon hara was spread about me that was a lie.

for being blamed for something that was not my idea, my fault or my intention.

because my motives were completely pure.

because I feel (and others who I've talked to feel) that I did absolutely nothing wrong, even if others have misinterpreted my actions.

because some 60-year-old document is apparently more important than my feelings and all the good I do in my home.

because whatever was written in the document was not my fault in the least. I had no idea what was written there before I saw it, and I thought no one else knew as well.

because I called with the document expecting accolades for finding it, and instead I received a virtual slap in the face.

because I feel I should have received an apology saying that they were wrong for accusing me of publishing the document to a public website, when I did nothing of the sort. The document was ALREADY PUBLIC and I put it on a PRIVATE website.

because I’ve been picked on incessantly since Pesach.

because I don’t appreciate people second guessing my decisions about my own children and trying to run my life.

because they think they know what’s best for me.

because apparently being on the computer after going to school, getting all A's, going shopping for food and nursing the baby makes me lazy.

because they expect me not to talk about my feelings to my friends. I make sure everything is completely anonymous – NEVER lashon hara.

And the moral of the story is...

Please listen when someone is trying to tell you something! Read their emails in full and digest what they have to say. Take their calls and speak without arguing. Listen to what's being said, mull it over and then respond. No yelling, accusing or talking over the other person. And always return their phone calls. If they're calling, they obviously have something important to tell you.

Even if you don't think that what they have to say is important...most likely what they're trying to tell you is very important.

Even if you don't think what they'll tell you will change your mind...you just might be surprised with what they have to say, especially when they know exactly what the situation is and you are coming in as an outsider.

Try not to react (or overreact) to a situation without full knowledge of what's going on.

Always ask why! (Why did I send the document to X's email? Because X's mom said I should when I asked her. Why did I post the document to the website? Because I wanted the cousins to be able to see it. Why did I go looking for it in the first place? Because the cousins asked me to.) The answers might just explain the entire situation and make you go "Oh, ok! Nevermind, then."

Don't make judgments about people you don't know.

And, most importantly, don't ever speak lashon hara about anyone else. Even if if you think you're telling the truth, it still could be a lie. When in doubt, ask a rabbi and have the rabbi speak to the other party as well to get the full picture of the situation. If the rabbi only gets it from one ear, then he'll have a biased opinion and answer.

1 comment:

St Elsewhere said...

I am very sorry. This is so so so unnecessary, and likely to cause lot of disagreement that will remain ingrained by the bit.

Sorry that you have to deal with this. You do appear very rational.