Terrified

I am soooo nervous about my retrieval. Only 3 and a half hours to go and I'm already freaking out.

1) What happens if they get in there and see that I've already ovulated all of my eggs?
2) What happens if they get in there and none of the eggs I have are mature?
3) What happens if they get in there and find nothing in my follicles?
4) What happens if they get a whole bunch of great eggs but none of them fertilize?
5) What happens if they get a whole bunch of great eggs that fertilize, but they all die before the transfer?
(this is starting to remind me of the Passover song "Dayenu"...)
6) What if everything goes well (even the transfer and freezing), but I just don't get pregnant?
7) What if something goes wrong during the retrieval and I just don't wake up CV"S?!? (I know that sounds completely rediculous...it's a 15 minute procedure, it's not even general anesthesia, I'll be breathing on my own and even be monitored the whole time, and I don't believe ANYONE has ever died during an egg retrieval...plus the fact that these guys have done THOUSANDS of egg retrievals and I'm not even their first today...)

I'm just praying that everything goes swimmingly and that at the very least I wake up normally sometime within 15 mins or so after the retrieval. :-)

P.S. If you're curious about the song "Dayenu" go look it up or I can explain further on another post if you're stuck.
P.P.S. CV"S stands for chas v'shalom and basically means G-d forbid.

Woo hoo!!!

So, I actually had the same ultrasound tech today as on Friday, but I guess she was more on the ball this morning. Here are the results:

estradiol: 2579 pg/ml
endometrium: 13.3mm
left ovary: 19mm, 18.5mm, 17mm, 16.5mm, 16mm, 15mm, 12mm, 11.5mm (total of 8)
right ovary: 16.5mm, 15.5mm, 14.5mm, 14mm, 13.5mm (total of 5)

Grand total: 13 follicles (which will all hopefully be mature by Tuesday!)

So the doc is having me trigger tonight at midnight and I'm having the retrieval on Tuesday at noon (eep!). I'm really nervous about the sedation for the retrieval, because I've never been put to sleep before...if anyone has any comforting words about it, please send them!!

Follie Check

The ultrasound tech today didn't seem to be the most competant, but she was very sweet. After seeing 23 prospective follies and an 8mm endometrium on my last check, I was shocked to find only 8 measurable follies and a 13mm endometrium (it's only been 3 days). In any case, my estradiol was at 840 pg/ml and I (supposedly) only have 3 follies on my left (14mm, 12.5mm, and 10.5mm) and 5 follies on my right (15mm, 13mm, 11mm, 11mm, and 10mm). I'm hoping it's just the tech having a bad day and not finding everything. We'll see what happens on Sunday (and hopefully I'll get someone else)!

Follies

So, I have 13 small follicles (under 10mm) on the left and 10 small ones (under 10mm) on the right side. Now what I'm wondering is if this is normal... I've been stimulating at 125IU of Follistim for 4 days and I don't have any larger follicles yet?!?! My endometrium is already at 8mm, so that's fine. My estradiol was around 200 pg/ml, LH around 3 mIU/ml and Progesterone around .3 ng/ml--so those are all normal. Has anyone else had this??? Am I going nuts? I go back on Friday for another follie check, so I hope that I have a bunch of big ones by then...but I'm kinda nervous...
:-(

Waiting

I really hate this waiting... I started my stims for IVF on Friday, so I've done 3 doses of 125IU Follistim, and I just want to know how many eggs I'm going to have. I know it sounds silly, but I don't like to be kept in suspense! And I have to wait until Tuesday morning for my follie scan to find out...and I'm terrified that I'm only going to have 1 or 2 nice ones--even though they nearly doubled my dose from before. I'm also scared that my endometrium lining will suck. I'm just terrified that they're going to cancel the cycle and I REALLY don't want that to happen. I just want a baby already!!!!

IUI #7

Today I had my seventh (and final) IUI. If this one doesn't work, then it's on to IVF! No pain or cramping today either. :-)

Volume: 3.6ml (normal = more than 2ml)
Concentration: 280 million (normal = more than 20 million; best = more than 90 million)
Motility: 80% (normal = more than 50%; best = more than 60%)
Morphology: 30% abnormal (normal = less than 70% abnormal)
Forward Progression: 3 (It's a scale from 1 to 4 with 4 being the best and 2.5 being average)
Total Motile Sperm: 806.4 million

IUI #6

Today I had my sixth IUI! This one also wasn't really painful.

Volume: 4ml (normal = more than 2ml)
Concentration: 146 million (normal = more than 20 million; best = more than 90 million)
Motility: 48% (normal = more than 50%; best = more than 60%)
Morphology: 58% abnormal (normal = less than 70% abnormal)
Forward Progression: 2 (It's a scale from 1 to 4 with 4 being the best and 2.5 being average)
Total Motile Sperm: 280.3 million