New Job, Loving it!

Apparently, I haven't updated my blog in so long that it is actually ridiculous. After realizing we couldn't afford private school in Boston, we decided to move to Florida and have since made our way down south. Luckily, both my husband and I were able to find new jobs, and the money we made selling the house in Boston made it possible to pay off my student loans and make it easier to pay for private school. It's not perfect, but I really do love it here. At least I don't have to worry about snow any more!

In my new job, I'm the ART (Assisted Reproductive Technologies) Nurse Manager. Fancy title that means I manage the amazing group of nurses who take care of patients just before and during their IVF cycles. I absolutely love what I do, and today was my 6 week evaluation, where my manager (the COO of the company) took me aside to tell me how I was doing. The evaluation was a good one, but the main purpose of this post was to express the one part of the evaluation that touched me the most...

As someone with Asperger's who was bullied for most of her life (3rd grade through high school and then some), it has never really been easy for me to make friends. During school I maybe had one or two people at a time that I could call good friends. In high school I kind of was friends with a group of people, but I never actually felt as though I were a part of their clique. I didn't fit in anywhere. Over the years, I've come up with ways to get around the fact that social cues can be difficult for me - mainly that I cannot be a part of a conversation with more than one person at a time or I won't know when I can talk, and I find myself interrupting people when I don't mean to. The filter on my brain has gotten a lot better than it was as a kid, luckily, though there are always times when I slip and wish I hadn't said something. Coming into a managerial job, I was terrified that I would have no idea how to manage other people. Would they like me? Would they follow my direction? I'm under 5 feet tall, not very intimidating, and remember...I don't know how to make friends. Or at least I didn't know how up until my job at CCRM. Somehow I was friends with everyone. I don't know if it was because I knew what I was doing or just the fact that I loved what I did and was happy much of the time. But I was liked by everyone, and that was something very new to me. But there, I was "just" one of the nurses. It would be different as a manager...

Fast forward to my evaluation. She scored me highest on my relationships with other people (not that my other scores were "low," but this was superior rather than average or something like that). She said that everyone liked me...loved me. That even the people who are hard to impress and have strong personalities are so happy that I'm there. That I've made an amazing impression on everyone. I think she even made a comment about my good communication skills - that one was a shocker, as I think communication skills are something I have to work doubly hard at. Even one of the doctors today told me she told a patient that I was "brilliant." I can't even tell you how much that meant to me. How it soothed the little bullied kid inside of me who remembers being tormented on the school bus and in class. How hard I've worked to "fix" whatever shortcomings I could find in order to fit in and make friends. If you wonder why I go around being so happy all of the time (in public), why I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, why I tend to let things "roll off my back," it's because of that. Yeah, I get upset. I get REALLY upset, but I try not to let that show until I'm in the privacy of my bedroom or car and can cry and scream to the walls.

I work with some of the world's most amazing women on my nursing team, and I feel extremely blessed to be their manager.

Happy Stories

Today at work I had the most amazing thing happen. As you know, I do IUIs for my patients, and we always hope that it will work. But sometimes people do need to move onto IVF (as I did many years ago after 5 IUI cycles). One of my patients decided to be proactive and come in for a follow up visit before she was due for her pregnancy test for her latest IUI cycle. She was a day early for her pregnancy test, so we did the blood test, and she saw the doctor while it was running. After seeing the doctor, patients come to me to sign consents. We sat and I was doing my usual shpiel about the consents and how to fill them out yadda yadda yadda.... When the doctor and one of the MAs knocked on the door. All three of us (patient, partner, and I) raised our eyebrows. "Yeeeees? What can we do for you?" The two at the door had the largest grins on their faces. Doctor says that her blood test was back....and she's pregnant. Three jaws dropped to the floor. OMG. Well, there goes my consent shpiel, let's change tactics entirely! It was entirely surreal and probably the most exceptional thing to happen in my entire time at the clinic. It was like something you'd see in a movie. Absolutely incredible!

On another happy note, my first cousin who has been searching for her daughters (who she had been forced to give up for adoption many years ago) FOUND THEM!!!! Her brother (my other first cousin) was really the detective, and she's going to have her daughters back for Christmas this year. I am entirely beside myself with happiness for her. I can't wait to meet them myself!

And thirdly, the price on my plane tickets went down again. This time to $677. My refund is now going to be over $1100. SWEET! More money to spend on Disney and Universal tickets.

Weekend

Friday's thoughts:
I never thought I would make it home in time for Shabbos, but I did!!! I was within candle lighting, and I was so happy that I got to light candles with the kids. I love my job, but it's hard when you know you have to call patients back because it's time sensitive, but you also were supposed to leave an hour or more prior. Starting next week we're going to be doing 10 hr day schedules that that we'll have an extra day off per week. We're already working until 5:30pm most of the time, so it's not really working any more than we have been. We'll actually get to work less! On the flip side, our 6 hour days on weekends are now 10 hour days. But at least I'll be able to do a lot of catching up on the weekends when it's quiet.

I'm looking forward to Rhode Island Comic Con, which we're going to on Sunday. I'm going to be super busy that day, because immediately after getting home from the convention I have to go to a capella rehearsal. No rest for the weary... But I will share with you pictures and stories once I have recovered. 😃

Saturday's thoughts:
When you have to get up at 6 am every morning for work, sleep ins on the weekend are so sweet. I won't even tell you what time Shmuel made me get out of bed. It's embarrassing. And I had been having a weird dream that I don't really remember now...only that it was weird. (But what dreams aren't weird?)

Shabbos went as most Shabbosim do. Nothing too exciting to report. When it wasn't Shabbos I was trying to be productive and creative - writing tips about trying to conceive and colorizing a black and white photo (just to see if I could). Apparently I'm not too terrible at using photoshop to colorize, and I'm pretty impressed at my final product. See for yourself!

It's a photo of my grandpa from the 1920's. It's only part of a much larger photo of his whole family. I'm considering coloring the entire thing.

Halloween

I just realized I didn't post anything yesterday. Kind of funny, because it was my day off, and I actually went out into the world and did something. My usual weekly appointments, and I also had a nice visit to the dentist. I say nice, because they complimented me on my teeth! Considering how much of a crappy brusher I was as a kid, this was the highest of compliments for me.

I discovered today that being empathetic is not always a good thing....when I started crying during a patient intake because of what they had experienced. Whew... Sometimes my job can be really, really emotionally difficult. I seriously wanted to sit there and bawl, but I managed to keep myself from going that far. A tissue was necessary, and my eyes were so red that my coworkers thought something bad had happened to me! I was never this emotional as a child...but being a parent really changes you. I cry at EVERYTHING. I sobbed earlier today while in my office because of a Facebook friend who lost his infant son today. Just reading his post had me in tears. I am definitely a crier, there is no doubting that. But I hope that my new patients were not offended or anything by my show of emotion. Sometimes I just can't help but feel their pain. And oh it hurts.

Today I took the kiddos out trick or treating....even though their school sent out an email asking people not to. I grew up trick or treating, and although there are still pagans who celebrate this as a religious holiday, the vast majority of people do not. It's a day to go out, dress up, and ring everyone's doorbells. More than likely my kids will be some of the only kids in their school to "celebrate," and I'm okay with that. At least they are having fun and actually getting out of the house. And free candy doesn't hurt, though with maybe a quarter to a half of it being non-kosher we make sure our friend Ron has a nice haul of his own of non-kosher candy and other treats. Like the bakery that gave out freshly baked chocolate cookies. Or the store that gave out caramel apples. Yeah he is getting the good stuff. 😄

We did make it for about 20 mins of trick or treating on the main street at the businesses. Even though I managed to get out of work on time, they didn't get home from school until after 4pm and then getting them into costumes was a chore. Ahh well....maybe next year I'll get off from work and we'll be able to get started earlier. It would be nice to be able to visit all of the businesses on both sides of the street.

After dinner we went out and rang doorbells. Most of our neighborhood doesn't celebrate. It's so unlike when I was growing up and every house on my street had a light on and was giving candy. Now you're going down half a street just for one house to be lit up. I need to find a new neighborhood for this...

10 months and counting

It's been far too long since I wrote on here, and I realized that I should write more accounts of what actually happens in my life. I used to have a diary as a kid, and I wrote in it every day. While I doubt I'd have to energy to update here every day, I'm going to make a concerted effort to do so. Here are my thoughts of the day:

I can't believe I've been at my "new" job for 10 months. I have never been so happy in a job. The environment is friendly, uplifting, and just plain fun. No one has a beef with anyone else. Everyone likes everyone else. We all get along. We are all friends. There are no cliques. It is like night and day from almost everywhere else I've ever been. I can easily see myself hanging out with these women on a regular day, and I'm a hermit. 😀 I've learned so many things and refined my knowledge in others. I feel confident in my ability to do my job. I enjoy what I do. I love and care about my patients (and they love me back, for the most part). I celebrate every pregnancy, but I also am sad when my patients graduate and go off to their OB/Gyn. I wish I could watch each of them grow (literally). And I can't believe that the patients who became pregnant when I started working there are now having their babies. It's uncanny!

Going back to my last blog post, which was back in January, I ended it with my desire to do two things:
#1 Doing an IUI for a woman...and having her get pregnant and have a baby!
#2 Calling someone with their positive (and increasing) beta.

Since then I have done several IUIs, and at least two of them have resulted in a pregnancy that is currently ongoing. One is at least halfway through her pregnancy, if not more, and one is more newly pregnant. So quite soon I will have completed #1.

As for #2, I have gotten to call MANY people with their positive and increasing betas! I've also been privileged to sit in on some OB ultrasounds and get to watch my patients' reactions to seeing their baby's heartbeat for the first time. That is without a doubt the best part of my job.

And amongst all of the happiness at my work, I am incredibly sad because one of my co-workers is leaving the practice to go elsewhere and today was our last day working together. She was my office-mate and taught me how to do my job. If I am considered a good IVF nurse, it's really because of her. I am going to miss her SO FREAKING MUCH, and I have no clue what I'm going to do being in that room without her wisdom, jokes, support, hugs, and smiling face. There is no one on earth who can replace her, and I can only hope that whoever comes in to take her spot is even half as amazing as she is. 💔

In other news, my a capella group (Honorable Menschen) had a concert this past weekend. Considering at least 3 of us had colds, I think we did a pretty incredible job. I was also extremely proud and honored to have my arranged version of Hallelujah LaOlam performed for the first time during the second half. Watch our concert below and enjoy!

New Year, New Job

Toward the end of last year, I decided I needed to make a change. Working nights was killing me physically, and I wasn't happy doing what I was doing. It wasn't necessarily the work itself, but a number of things. I started looking, and almost out of the blue was contacted by a company that I had submitted a resume to many months prior.

The company is a branch of a well-known fertility clinic. Anyone who has gone through fertility treatments has heard of CCRM (Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine). They are the top of the line in reproductive medicine - high quality, high success. Women and couples would fly from all over the country to Colorado just to be seen at this clinic. Eventually they figured why not bring the excellence of CCRM to the women so they don't have to travel so far. Hence, CCRM Boston was born! (haha get it?)

I have always had a passion for reproductive medicine, and I learned a great deal while going through fertility treatments. And if you've been following my blog since the beginning, you will remember all of that. :) I actually wish I had done a better job of blogging it, but I was a newbie and didn't really know what I was doing. I spent more time on the WebMD and Fertile Thoughts message boards in those days. Then I was made the beta (hCG) board coordinator on Fertile Thoughts and became somewhat of an expert in interpreting beta levels...something that comes in handy in my new job, but let's not get ahead of ourselves in my story.

I always knew I wanted to work in women's health, but after all I had been through in midwifery school and on L&D, I realized I didn't /need/ to work in birth to find fulfillment. I didn't even need to work as a midwife to be fulfilled. In fact, I had quite enjoyed my job as an OB/Gyn office nurse. I like office work. I've done enough secretarial and reception work to know that. I love computers and feel comfortable with them. I like working with patients...getting to know them....helping them.

So when CCRM Boston called, I jumped. Being an IVF Nurse Coordinator was almost like a calling. I felt like I knew reproductive medicine inside and out, and what I didn't know I could learn easily. From the moment I first stepped into the clinic during my interview, I knew this was where I belonged. And then...they hired me! To make a long story short, I'm getting to do something I absolutely love and feel like I'm dreaming every day that this is actually my life now. I'm putting all of the knowledge I gained during treatments to good use!

I have never felt more welcomed and loved in a workplace ever before. I feel valued and cherished. I'm giving it my all and loving every second of it. Even when I'm really busy, I still love it. I especially love it! I get to talk to patients and counsel them. I'm learning all about protocols and medications. I feel useful and competent, and I feel like part of the team even though it's been less than a month. I am seriously so happy - if you couldn't tell. Every day I am so grateful that I've been given this opportunity.

There are two things that I am looking forward to in this job that haven't happened (YET). #1 Doing an IUI for a woman...and having her get pregnant and have a baby! #2 Calling someone with their positive (and increasing) beta. It's only a matter of time! Baby dust to all. :)