It was freezing and snowing this morning. Not weather I would usually go out in, but I had sent Shmuel next door to help the kids pick out Purim costumes last night, and I wanted to make sure they would get worn...
The holiday of Purim is coming up next week, and my synagogue holds a little carnival every year for the kids. I never had any reason to go before I had kids, of course, but I always knew when it was, and it was just another reminder to me of how much it stunk not having kids and not knowing when or if I would be able to attend the carnival. And so it went for two years of infertility. The third year I was heavily pregnant with the twins at carnival time and not allowed to go anywhere. In searching through my emails today for the info about this year's carnival I came across an emailed conversation between myself and a good friend of mine. She had invited Shmuel and I for the Purim festive meal that year, and I had commented to her that I wanted to go to the synagogue to hear the megillah read but would need a ride. As luck would have it, I was in the hospital during Purim and was therefore unable to go to both her meal and to hear the megillah. But the rabbi of my synagogue actually came to my hospital room and read it for me. That was pretty incredible, since it was late at night, and I'm sure he was exhausted. By the next year the twins were almost one and crawling all over the place. I was beyond determined to get to the carnival, so I bought them costumes, dressed them up and went.
This picture is actually from the Purim party at the Chabad house at Brandeis, but it's the same year and the same costumes, so you get the idea. It's so funny to see Chana B small enough to actually fit on one leg of my lap! Anyway, they didn't get too much out of the carnival that year since they were much too young to play the games, but at least I could show them off and let them crawl around in their costumes.
The year after that, Tzipora was still quite little, I didn't feel comfortable taking all three out at once, and the twins weren't even 2 yet, so I wasn't sure they'd be able to play games anyway. The year after, I believe I was just being lazy and didn't get costumes for anyone. That's what nursing school will do to you! So we just didn't go.
This year I was going to get them to that carnival, because the twins are now definitely old enough to play and enjoy games, and even Tzipora is big enough to play! Besides, I knew the kids would love dressing up in costumes. But of course then it started snowing, and it's beyond freezing outside. We weren't even sure the carnival would still be on, but I didn't care and bundled everyone up anyway. We made it to the carnival (which was still running - this is Boston!), and the kids ran around playing games and having fun for almost an hour. My huge proud moment was Chana B telling me she had to use the potty and doing so. YAY! I might just say she's potty trained, but it makes me nervous to say something like that out loud...don't want to jinx it. But the fact that she stayed dry even outside the house was huge. We got lots of tickets to redeem for a whole bunch of prizes, half of which were broken before we even got home. LOL But Dovid got a little truck and a little airplane (big surprise there), Chana picked a fan and a pair of sunglasses, Tzipora got a strange pair of glasses and a spinning top, and I nabbed two pinwheels to give to the kids for being well behaved. They also all got pastries while we were there - chocolate cupcakes for the twins, a brownie for Tzipora. So all in all it was a successful trip. It cost me just over $20, but to watch my kids having fun at the carnival was priceless.
I may have felt the baby for the first time today. I know it's crazy early, but I got that buzzing feeling that I remember from being pregnant before. I know it was in the right place for where the baby is, because later in the day when I was at the midwife's office, that's where she found the heartbeat (in the 160's). We won't know for sure unless it happens again, but I figured I would just put this down here for posterity in case it is the baby. I can't remember the first time I felt Tzipora move because I didn't write it down anywhere. Oops. I learn from my mistakes!
For a few days I've been trying to see if I could get baby's heartbeat on the doppler, but I wasn't having any luck. Until this morning when I tried and found it almost immediately! I found it toward my left side, so I think that's where baby must have implanted. I listened for a while, calculated the heart rate (which was in the 170's), then posted gleefully on my Twitter about it asking if anyone wanted to hear. Of course people did! Ugh...that meant I needed to try to get it AND video. So I then spent the rest of the day trying to locate baby again. LOL Just because I could find it easy once didn't mean I would again. I tried like three times over the course of the day before finally getting it. Yay! So, I made a little video, and you can watch it. At the beginning I say it's "just for Sarah." I was going to say more, but then the baby moved, and I had to relocate the doppler, so it threw my attention. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
Winter Storm Nemo is upon us! It started snowing before I woke up this morning and has been coming down steadily ever since. You can still see the grass in some places, but in others it's covered over. They pre-salted the roads, so as of an hour or so ago it still wasn't sticking there. Boston sure knows how to do snow! Luckily I have nowhere to be today, and neither does anyone else in the house. We're in for the long haul.
The beginning of my semester has gone really well. We started off with learning about postpartum, labor and delivery, and newborn. Talk about the perfect start to something! lol We took our first test earlier this week, and I'm itching to get the results back. I've never felt so close to 100% on a test in nursing school before, so I'm really psyched to see if I pulled it off.
Other than that, I'm still suffering with the nausea and now the mother of all yeast infections on top of it. My nose is still running from the cold I got a month ago, too. I'm falling apart at the seams! lol But it's ok, honestly the nausea is the only thing that bothers me greatly. I'm not much good to anyone when I feel sick, which is difficult because I need to be studying, and I just don't want to do anything except sit and veg out. I forgot how weird first trimester is because you can't feel the baby yet, you can't get the heartbeat on doppler, and this time around I'm not even really noticeably showing yet. So the only thing I have that's cluing me in to the baby's well-being is this overwhelming nausea and exhaustion. At 10 1/2 weeks I'm getting very close to the end of the embryonic stage, so baby will look humanoid at the next ultrasound. I still have 2 weeks until then, but I'm really looking forward to seeing that. :-)
As you might remember, I first hinted to being pregnant with the title "Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe". Well, now here is the reveal of "the secret" and everything that's been going on for the last month or so.
We started TTC #4 at the beginning of October. I randomly got my period that month even though I was on progesterone-only birth control pills, so I figured I would ask Shmuel if I should refill the birth control pills, and he said to chuck them...so I did. We didn't know if it would be one cycle or ten or even more, considering our history. With the twins it was two years and numerous infertility treatments before we got pregnant. With Tzipora we tried naturally and got pregnant in three months. I guess Shmuel wasn't convinced that Tzipora's conception wasn't just a fluke. And to be honest, there were times I thought it was a fluke myself. But honestly I had faith that it would work again this time...the "regular" way. And I was right. After three cycles (again!) I was staring at a BFP in disbelief. I had an inkling at 7 dpo when my temperature chart showed an obvious implantation dip, but I didn't want to get my hopes up at that point. But on 10 dpo I took a test, and I would have sworn I saw a very, very faint second line. At 11dpo I took more tests...and I figured that they were all defective. That I was imagining things. That since these tests were expired they were completely useless. I mean, it didn't matter every other cycle they were completely blank and now they had second lines... So I popped into CVS after Shabbos (12/22) and bought a slew of non-expired tests and a package of digital tests as well. And I took them...
Ok, fine. I couldn't really argue with that. So I figured it was time to tell Shmuel, and I brought in the digital test to show him. He was skeptical and asked if it could be wrong...so I brought him the one you see at the bottom. He was still skeptical, so I offered to show him the other ten tests all with second lines on them. He declined that... lol
Since I was planning to leave town on the 24th, the only way to get a beta drawn was Sunday the 23rd. And the person I spoke with on the phone also offered to give me a "prescription" for more blood work that I could take with me on my trip. I wasn't sure how that was going to work, but it was something. Either way, at 12dpo (12/23), my hCG was 80 mIU/ml, and my progesterone was 26 ng/ml. If you're keeping track, both levels are higher than Tzipora's at the same dpo. However, I believe I implanted a full day earlier than with her, which can definitely make the difference.
I left on my trip to Missouri on the 24th and then had a great first Christmas Eve and Christmas celebrating with Heavyn, Toby and the Curtis family. I think Sister Curtis had the best reaction to a pregnancy announcement that I've ever seen. I wish I had a video of it, because it was classic. She basically screamed , jumped up and down, and started dancing. She was then recruiting her daughters to dance with her all around the room. Toby and Kaleb were both trying to get me to name the baby after them. Good luck with that, gentlemen...
I was taking HPTs the whole time from Christmas Eve onward and was incredibly frustrated and nervous when they were going lighter then darker then lighter then darker. I couldn't get my next blood draw till the 26th because of the holiday, but luckily my doctor had written an order for it and the hospital near there took it with no problems. I went back and got my results in person the same day... 273 mIU/ml! Perfectly doubled, almost exactly - doubling time of 40 hours. If you remember, Tzipora's and the twins' levels doubled more quickly, so I was hopeful it might be a boy this time. (Some people say boys have lower hCG levels and that the numbers double slower than with girls.)
Two days later (17 dpo) I was back at the medical center for my next blood test. I actually waited there for the results, and they were done in an hour. Very fast work! We were now up to 620 mIU/ml! Still doubing in just about 40 hours. I was so relieved that all was going so well so far and that my numbers were doing exactly what I was hoping they would.
I had to wait the weekend for my last blood test (20 dpo). It was snowy, and the Curtises were out of town for the holiday, so I actually borrowed Heavyn's car and drove myself down to the medical center. The roads actually weren't that bad - they got much worse that evening. That result was 3245 mIU/ml! Nearly double what I was expecting and now doubling in 30 hours.
All went well for the end of my trip, except of course that I hate flying and was nervous and nauseous all that evening (the 3rd). Unfortunately for me it didn't end there. At that point I was only 5 1/2 weeks pregnant, but I was starting to be nauseous each evening, which each night getting progressively worse. Until the 8th (6 weeks) when I was just nauseous all day long...and the 9th it got worse. I'm honestly the worst person when it comes to nausea. I just can't take it. And I was super lucky with the twins and Tzipora. It was never all day and usually just struck at dinner time. And it really didn't peak until about 10 or 11 weeks and then quickly dissipated. But this is a whole new ballgame. I don't know if it's because I was dehydrated or what, but I gave up and went to the ER for fluids and IV nausea meds. I had been taking oral meds (the same stuff they give in IV), but it wasn't working...not even a little bit. I felt LOADS better after getting some fluids in, and of course the doctor insisted I go for an ultrasound...and who am I to argue, right?
They don't have neat ultrasound printers in the ER, so I snuck this pic in with my phone. You can see the gestational sac in the middle and a little baby blob at the bottom. Baby #4 is an overachiever, measuring in at 6w4/5d when I was just 6w1d (or really 6w2d since it was nearly midnight). And little baby had a heart rate of 118 bpm, which is perfect for how far along I was.
My morning sickness (well, it's never in the morning, though, just the rest of the day and especially evening) has been a nightmare this time around. When I started dry heaving one evening at around 7 1/2 weeks, I gave up and went back to the ER for more fluids. Unfortunately, while I felt better initially, I felt just as rotten going home as I did when I was on my way there. The fact that it was 2am probably had something to do with that, though, as I was beyond exhausted. The one good thing that came out of it was another ultrasound, which the tech let me tape a little part of. She was super sweet, too.
You can see the heartbeat going along at about 160bpm, and the baby was measuring about a day or so ahead. So, just perfect!
I've already had my first prenatal appointment with the midwives, and I'll see them again around 12 weeks. I'll also have my next ultrasound at that point for the nuchal translucency screening. Can't wait to see the little one then! In the mean time, if you've stuck around for the whole post, you can now go and join in the baby pool. Winner will get something cool, though I don't know what yet. Probably will get to hold the baby or change a diaper or something. :-D
No, Shmuel doesn't want me telling people, but you know how often I listen to him regarding this topic. (So if you see him in public or talk to him on the phone, don't say anything to him yet...wait until the end of Feb unless he happens to mention it himself.) I have a whole huge post just about ready which tells alllll about it, but for now I'll just let it sink in...
Yes, I realize I have not posted in a month. There's a very good reason for this, but you won't know for a few more days. Sorry! But I can give you pictures from my Missouri trip to keep you happy until then...
I went on my trip to Missouri and had a great time with Heavyn and the Curtis family. I even got to see Toby again for my first day while I was there, which was awesome. I "celebrated" my first Christmas while over there, complete with a tree and presents. Now you may wonder why on earth a Jewish girl would celebrate Christmas. No, I'm not converting or anything. I read a fantastic book called Kosher Jesus by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. It basically solidified everything I ever personally believed about Jesus - that he was a good man, a great rabbi and teacher, and someone to be respected and looked up to. Many Jews celebrate the birthdays and death anniversaries of certain great rabbis, so I decided that Jesus really deserved just as much. I didn't go to church or anything, but I put up a tree so we could pile presents under it. *wink wink nudge nudge*
Behold, the very first (and probably only ever) Colin Morgan Christmas tree. LOL Though he's not the only person on it, he got the most baubles. There's plenty of Bradley James, a few of the guys from Supernatural and, of course, pictures from ColdCon.
Christmas Eve we had dinner at the Curtises, though I wasn't feeling well and couldn't really eat much. I really, really don't like flying, and I was still feeling a bit queasy from the whole thing.
From the left and going clockwise you can see Heavyn (in profile), then the tip of Ammon's nose, Corban drinking, Solana pouring, Caleb, Elder Clements, and then the back of Toby's head. The empty chair next to Heavyn is mine.
I snuck a picture here of Kaleb in the rocking chair falling asleep. Just after this we prepared to perform the nativity for a woman who lives in the city. Heavyn, Toby and I were recruited to be the three wise guys, complete with costumes and everything. We were completely perfect at it, of course.
After doing our performance, we went out caroling around town and giving out cookies. I knew some of the carols and faked the rest. :-D Christmas Eve was probably the most excitement I had during my trip, though I did get to see the Curtises several times and, of course, I hung out with Heavyn quite a bit. There was a lot of movie-watching, tweeting and driving around town looking for something fun to do. On one of our searches for the best place to eat in town, we found a restaurant called The Palace which has several Camelot-themed menu items. It was so epic! Sir Lancelot (it's a pizza), Round Table (that's an appetizer), Guinevere's Salad, Dragon's Breath (that's a sandwich), and The Gauntlet (another sandwich) are some examples. We were just disappointed there was no Merlin salad.
On my last day in town, on the way to the airport, I went with Solana and Christa to the Mormon visitors centers in Liberty, MO and Independence, MO. The one in Liberty has a replica of the jail where Joseph Smith was imprisoned for several months over a cold winter.
The presentations were very informative and interesting, and I really enjoyed learning more about Mormons and their origins. You'd think being from upstate NY that I would know this stuff, but I knew absolutely nothing until very recently. In fact, I had no idea the religion even started in NY! Yeah, I know...I'm so bad.
That's Solana on the left, me in the middle and Christa on the right. After our escapades at the visitors centers, they took me to the airport. I had upgraded one of my flights to first class because the upgrade was SUPER cheap and gave me free checked luggage, so here's the view from first class...
I forgot that tray tables don't come out in front of you in first class, they come from your arm rest next to you! The only down side to being in first class on this particular airplane is the fact that the bathroom is allllll the way at the back - no first class toilets. So even though I had to pee like mad, I had to wait for the lady with the drink cart to serve everyone in the back of the plane before I could go. *cry* It was really, really awful. But, I survived my flights and got back home.
My next post, hopefully, will give you more of an idea of what I did during the bulk of my trip.
