tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89353412985115266202024-03-13T07:25:57.057-04:00Elana's MusingsThis blog contains Elana's musings about her struggle with infertility and her four miracle kiddos. Thanks for listening!Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.comBlogger556125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-58142417354022947292019-10-07T21:58:00.000-04:002019-10-07T22:01:05.439-04:00New Job, Loving it!Apparently, I haven't updated my blog in so long that it is actually ridiculous. After realizing we couldn't afford private school in Boston, we decided to move to Florida and have since made our way down south. Luckily, both my husband and I were able to find new jobs, and the money we made selling the house in Boston made it possible to pay off my student loans and make it easier to pay for private school. It's not perfect, but I really do love it here. At least I don't have to worry about snow any more!<br /><br />
In my new job, I'm the ART (Assisted Reproductive Technologies) Nurse Manager. Fancy title that means I manage the amazing group of nurses who take care of patients just before and during their IVF cycles. I absolutely love what I do, and today was my 6 week evaluation, where my manager (the COO of the company) took me aside to tell me how I was doing. The evaluation was a good one, but the main purpose of this post was to express the one part of the evaluation that touched me the most...
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As someone with Asperger's who was bullied for most of her life (3rd grade through high school and then some), it has never really been easy for me to make friends. During school I maybe had one or two people at a time that I could call good friends. In high school I kind of was friends with a group of people, but I never actually felt as though I were a part of their clique. I didn't fit in anywhere. Over the years, I've come up with ways to get around the fact that social cues can be difficult for me - mainly that I cannot be a part of a conversation with more than one person at a time or I won't know when I can talk, and I find myself interrupting people when I don't mean to. The filter on my brain has gotten a lot better than it was as a kid, luckily, though there are always times when I slip and wish I hadn't said something. Coming into a managerial job, I was terrified that I would have no idea how to manage other people. Would they like me? Would they follow my direction? I'm under 5 feet tall, not very intimidating, and remember...I don't know how to make friends. Or at least I didn't know how up until my job at CCRM. Somehow I was friends with everyone. I don't know if it was because I knew what I was doing or just the fact that I loved what I did and was happy much of the time. But I was liked by everyone, and that was something very new to me. But there, I was "just" one of the nurses. It would be different as a manager...
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Fast forward to my evaluation. She scored me highest on my relationships with other people (not that my other scores were "low," but this was superior rather than average or something like that). She said that everyone liked me...loved me. That even the people who are hard to impress and have strong personalities are so happy that I'm there. That I've made an amazing impression on everyone. I think she even made a comment about my good communication skills - that one was a shocker, as I think communication skills are something I have to work doubly hard at. Even one of the doctors today told me she told a patient that I was "brilliant." I can't even tell you how much that meant to me. How it soothed the little bullied kid inside of me who remembers being tormented on the school bus and in class. How hard I've worked to "fix" whatever shortcomings I could find in order to fit in and make friends. If you wonder why I go around being so happy all of the time (in public), why I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, why I tend to let things "roll off my back," it's because of that. Yeah, I get upset. I get REALLY upset, but I try not to let that show until I'm in the privacy of my bedroom or car and can cry and scream to the walls.
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I work with some of the world's most amazing women on my nursing team, and I feel extremely blessed to be their manager.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-42171040944410044822019-03-25T18:09:00.000-04:002019-03-25T18:10:17.911-04:00Private School WoesBefore I even thought about having kids, I knew I was going to send them to a private Jewish day school. Knowing the area in which I live, it was really the only plausible option. There are very few (if any) religious Jewish kids in the public school system because there are a ton of Jewish day schools around, and that's where all of the kids go. I knew it would be expensive, but I felt so strongly about it that I knew I would just have to grin and bear it as best I could. So I did. We got scholarships (as nearly all families do), and it was manageable...somewhat. But as the years went on, the bills grew even as my salary did. Going to school meant I wasn't working for several years, and now we have to make that money up somehow - plus pay back the student loans. We were getting help from family, but circumstances (death, retirement, etc) has now rendered that impossible. And so now I face taking my kids away from their friends and away from an excellent school solely because I can't keep pulling money out of my home equity line of credit to pay for their school. While I am sure Boston Public Schools are a fine place to get an education, I don't know how I'm going to be able to give them a good Jewish education on top of it. Meanwhile, they're going to lose probably all of their Jewish friends because they so rarely go on play dates and don't go to synagogue that often either. I'm seriously distraught over this and don't know what to do. I have cried so many days over this, and I can't bring myself to make a decision one way or the other. Kill myself financially and allow my kids to have the education I want them to have (that they deserve) and to keep the friends they have tried so hard to make or put them in public school so I can pay back my loans and eventually we'll have money to live on and not keep taking money out of my house to pay the bills. I've prayed on it, but the L-rd isn't giving me any ideas. What do I do now?Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-13050796873228667442018-11-19T19:16:00.000-05:002018-11-19T19:16:06.801-05:00Happy StoriesToday at work I had the most amazing thing happen. As you know, I do IUIs for my patients, and we always hope that it will work. But sometimes people do need to move onto IVF (as I did many years ago after 5 IUI cycles). One of my patients decided to be proactive and come in for a follow up visit before she was due for her pregnancy test for her latest IUI cycle. She was a day early for her pregnancy test, so we did the blood test, and she saw the doctor while it was running. After seeing the doctor, patients come to me to sign consents. We sat and I was doing my usual shpiel about the consents and how to fill them out yadda yadda yadda.... When the doctor and one of the MAs knocked on the door. All three of us (patient, partner, and I) raised our eyebrows. "Yeeeees? What can we do for you?" The two at the door had the largest grins on their faces. Doctor says that her blood test was back....and she's pregnant. Three jaws dropped to the floor. OMG. Well, there goes my consent shpiel, let's change tactics entirely! It was entirely surreal and probably the most exceptional thing to happen in my entire time at the clinic. It was like something you'd see in a movie. Absolutely incredible!<br />
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On another happy note, my first cousin who has been searching for her daughters (who she had been forced to give up for adoption many years ago) FOUND THEM!!!! Her brother (my other first cousin) was really the detective, and she's going to have her daughters back for Christmas this year. I am entirely beside myself with happiness for her. I can't wait to meet them myself!<br />
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And thirdly, the price on my plane tickets went down again. This time to $677. My refund is now going to be over $1100. SWEET! More money to spend on Disney and Universal tickets.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-50327089946086727252018-11-05T19:50:00.000-05:002018-11-05T19:50:03.684-05:00Plane TicketsI've been planning a trip with the family for several months, but the plane tickets are so expensive, and flying 6 people can be extremely costly to begin with. Originally the tickets were $670 each, and I figured I would wait to see if the price would come down. It didn't... I watched it go up and up and up until I finally said "enough!" and bought tickets. It was then that I realized Travelocity has this neat program called "Price Match Guarantee" where you pay a bit extra per ticket and they will guarantee you the lowest fare from the time you buy until your flight. I bought the tickets when they were $868 each (OUCH) in the hopes that even though I spent another $168 for the price match program that it would drop by at least that much in the coming months. Since I bought 6 tickets, the fare would only have to drop by $28 in order to make back the money.<br />
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In the weeks since I bought the tickets, I've watch the price soar all the way up to $1000 per ticket. I despaired that it would ever come back down, until the other day when the price dropped to $867 and change per ticket. Less than a dollar difference. But I put in my price match guarantee request and they locked me in for a $5 refund once my trip is over. Not bad, but not great either. Luckily I can keep checking prices and keep requesting refunds, and they'll give me the best price out of all of my requests.<br />
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Today I was talking with my co-worker about something and it reminded me to price check, so I did. It was $720. *record screech* I blinked a few times. I gasped audibly. Possibly my heart stopped beating for a few. May have screamed. I got onto Travelocity so quickly it would have made your head spin. I put in my request, and the most beautiful words appeared on my screen: Refund due $887.16. Looks like I've made my price match guarantee work for itself after all. If it comes down again, of course I'll request the lower price, but I am darned happy about this one even if it never comes this low again.<br />
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And the funny part is that I must have caught it by a hair. The price was only that low for one day. It's already gone back up to $867. Whew! I would have had a fit if I had seen the price graph later and had missed the drop. I am extremely lucky.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-85918451051531695602018-11-04T21:27:00.000-05:002018-11-20T09:29:30.784-05:00Rhode Island Comic Con<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The kids, my friend Ron, and I went to Rhode Island Comic Con today. It's become a yearly tradition, and every year we get our picture taken with various celebrities. This year was no different, and we got to meet actors we hadn't met before.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh3XdXAEo2oQ13zL4ZtpR7iTpojALA1XVorbePgQcnoKlscI3X_A-dOZDL0Z1ND2mM6Xy0-Y2lqiLMWYkHek3KSqH6WSyCRAd2IVGkbHcfdUlASplsCEGtacE4YtYvqSKKrh69JIDiXGzH/s1600/Billy+Boyd%252C+Elana%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1283" data-original-width="1600" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh3XdXAEo2oQ13zL4ZtpR7iTpojALA1XVorbePgQcnoKlscI3X_A-dOZDL0Z1ND2mM6Xy0-Y2lqiLMWYkHek3KSqH6WSyCRAd2IVGkbHcfdUlASplsCEGtacE4YtYvqSKKrh69JIDiXGzH/s640/Billy+Boyd%252C+Elana%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Billy Boyd played Pippin in the Lord of the Rings series. We brought some of our Lord of the Rings mystery minis with us - specifically the four hobbits: Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin. Billy is holding the little Pippin figure, and he looks ecstatic to be doing so. It was so cute!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp65uwGHUt2KxqXEcaQE3EVy7LclVv8dNRsMNqicnpNCIqOoiIb4TNEo56V-ZCQK_CUUO6V7YyfrON55Ir9qQI-p7iBiVqHA3OVgKPyvaSe-XaxkmU64L1Rk719nnXFNmwFi7IFn_6X3P4/s1600/Tom+Felton%252C+Elana%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1217" data-original-width="1600" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp65uwGHUt2KxqXEcaQE3EVy7LclVv8dNRsMNqicnpNCIqOoiIb4TNEo56V-ZCQK_CUUO6V7YyfrON55Ir9qQI-p7iBiVqHA3OVgKPyvaSe-XaxkmU64L1Rk719nnXFNmwFi7IFn_6X3P4/s640/Tom+Felton%252C+Elana%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Tom Felton played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series. I handed him Lucius Malfoy's wand that I have had for about a year (since we met Lucius's actor at a previous convention). I figured it would make him feel good to get to use his dad's wand. And he didn't disappoint - he told everyone "wands at the ready!" for the photo. So we had to follow suit.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCH0Um27h9fqJkQnAK-1Jmye3NHXc0rHrMr90GIeyazXJ6t3A26quUzdfxnlw3Ynl3xUGPN_7hJAMa6bK6hcpNqjluNCDxyQGSyzcW3rbaxRBBFlyAdZbd1hWx5p5JezVEX53jidZtiYD/s1600/Natalia+Tena%252C+Elana%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1600" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCH0Um27h9fqJkQnAK-1Jmye3NHXc0rHrMr90GIeyazXJ6t3A26quUzdfxnlw3Ynl3xUGPN_7hJAMa6bK6hcpNqjluNCDxyQGSyzcW3rbaxRBBFlyAdZbd1hWx5p5JezVEX53jidZtiYD/s640/Natalia+Tena%252C+Elana%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Natalia Tena played Tonks in the Harry Potter series. She was so sweet with the kids and also told everyone "wands at the ready!" for the picture. Gavriella is concentrating very hard on her magic and is being helped by one of the greatest aurors in the business!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSYkxDi-kF_x2nUHxiT_BH6Dv7A8pyeVMTp0w0FR9vJvrGM3gtq42chlwiy07TrCGOfDN6lD5eXdg8t6FhoyaII1EJNp4EFcW_kk5EVUlz_p2WSD7RNsvjR_pvd-0eVWrkUXFJvGbIVi2h/s1600/Sam+Smith%252C+Elana%252C+Dovid%252C+and+Tzipora.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1275" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSYkxDi-kF_x2nUHxiT_BH6Dv7A8pyeVMTp0w0FR9vJvrGM3gtq42chlwiy07TrCGOfDN6lD5eXdg8t6FhoyaII1EJNp4EFcW_kk5EVUlz_p2WSD7RNsvjR_pvd-0eVWrkUXFJvGbIVi2h/s640/Sam+Smith%252C+Elana%252C+Dovid%252C+and+Tzipora.jpeg" width="508" /></a></div>
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Sam Smith plays Mary Winchester in Supernatural. She was extremely nice. She shook my hand, asked my name and introduced herself (as if I had no clue who she was). Sam and Dean obviously have a really great mom.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR4z9yHuXi7guoi5oFnwzI6nuqpw5uvwHEN3J1nsNN_dNzu0lzKqP2JJ0KvXGjQTxSa-BUjRLUtINQ9l80Neo9jRCbnqE-9QOep6qCgE5qMSp1DigqKjDiMAPKzu1gpLEycguoU772x1Ix/s1600/Tara+Strong%252C+Ron%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1281" data-original-width="1600" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR4z9yHuXi7guoi5oFnwzI6nuqpw5uvwHEN3J1nsNN_dNzu0lzKqP2JJ0KvXGjQTxSa-BUjRLUtINQ9l80Neo9jRCbnqE-9QOep6qCgE5qMSp1DigqKjDiMAPKzu1gpLEycguoU772x1Ix/s640/Tara+Strong%252C+Ron%252C+and+Kiddos.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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My friend Ron invited the kids to be in his photo with Tara Strong. Tara is a voice actress who has voiced so many animated characters I can hardly remember a quarter of them. In particular, she voices Twilight Sparkle in My Little Pony. We met her at Boston Comic Con a few months ago, and she was very nice to the kids. We also found out at that point that she knows Hebrew! Dovid greeted her in Hebrew at the photo, and she didn't disappoint. She answered him in Hebrew and asked how he was doing. He responded that he was good (also in Hebrew). It was really cool to watch.<br />
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All in all we had a really great time, though most of it was spent in lines for photos. The best part was the fact that we were able to get ADA badges because of Dovid's diabetes, so our lines were mercifully short. We even managed to be first in line for Sam Smith! Definitely going to make sure we get ADA passes for all future conventions.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-72484252493685583502018-11-03T22:10:00.001-04:002018-11-20T09:32:56.275-05:00WeekendFriday's thoughts:<br />
I never thought I would make it home in time for Shabbos, but I did!!! I was within candle lighting, and I was so happy that I got to light candles with the kids. I love my job, but it's hard when you know you have to call patients back because it's time sensitive, but you also were supposed to leave an hour or more prior. Starting next week we're going to be doing 10 hr day schedules that that we'll have an extra day off per week. We're already working until 5:30pm most of the time, so it's not really working any more than we have been. We'll actually get to work less! On the flip side, our 6 hour days on weekends are now 10 hour days. But at least I'll be able to do a lot of catching up on the weekends when it's quiet.<br />
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I'm looking forward to Rhode Island Comic Con, which we're going to on Sunday. I'm going to be super busy that day, because immediately after getting home from the convention I have to go to a capella rehearsal. No rest for the weary... But I will share with you pictures and stories once I have recovered. 😃<br />
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Saturday's thoughts:<br />
When you have to get up at 6 am every morning for work, sleep ins on the weekend are so sweet. I won't even tell you what time Shmuel made me get out of bed. It's embarrassing. And I had been having a weird dream that I don't really remember now...only that it was weird. (But what dreams aren't weird?)<br />
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Shabbos went as most Shabbosim do. Nothing too exciting to report. When it wasn't Shabbos I was trying to be productive and creative - writing tips about trying to conceive and colorizing a black and white photo (just to see if I could). Apparently I'm not too terrible at using photoshop to colorize, and I'm pretty impressed at my final product. See for yourself!<br />
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It's a photo of my grandpa from the 1920's. It's only part of a much larger photo of his whole family. I'm considering coloring the entire thing.</div>
Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-23601148326235833622018-11-01T22:11:00.000-04:002018-11-02T18:13:37.575-04:00New BigMy three oldest kids have all had either a Big Brother or Big Sister from Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters at some point over the last few years. Unfortunately due to circumstances Dovid has not had a Big Brother since he was diagnosed with diabetes. Chana has had two Big Sisters, but each of them had to leave the program for personal reasons. Tzipora has also had two Big Sisters, and is currently still with that second one. I got a call the other day that a third Big Sister had been found for Chana and asked if we wanted to meet her. Of course I said yes! So tonight we went to meet Chana's new Big Sister, and she seems so sweet. I'm very excited for them to be able to start going out with one another. I think their first outing is going to be doing some kind of art project and ice cream. Sounds like they'll have a lot of fun!Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-68708440340719240852018-10-31T21:23:00.001-04:002018-10-31T21:29:59.756-04:00HalloweenI just realized I didn't post anything yesterday. Kind of funny, because it was my day off, and I actually went out into the world and did something. My usual weekly appointments, and I also had a nice visit to the dentist. I say nice, because they complimented me on my teeth! Considering how much of a crappy brusher I was as a kid, this was the highest of compliments for me.<br />
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I discovered today that being empathetic is not always a good thing....when I started crying during a patient intake because of what they had experienced. Whew... Sometimes my job can be really, really emotionally difficult. I seriously wanted to sit there and bawl, but I managed to keep myself from going that far. A tissue was necessary, and my eyes were so red that my coworkers thought something bad had happened to me! I was never this emotional as a child...but being a parent really changes you. I cry at EVERYTHING. I sobbed earlier today while in my office because of a Facebook friend who lost his infant son today. Just reading his post had me in tears. I am definitely a crier, there is no doubting that. But I hope that my new patients were not offended or anything by my show of emotion. Sometimes I just can't help but feel their pain. And oh it hurts.<br />
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Today I took the kiddos out trick or treating....even though their school sent out an email asking people not to. I grew up trick or treating, and although there are still pagans who celebrate this as a religious holiday, the vast majority of people do not. It's a day to go out, dress up, and ring everyone's doorbells. More than likely my kids will be some of the only kids in their school to "celebrate," and I'm okay with that. At least they are having fun and actually getting out of the house. And free candy doesn't hurt, though with maybe a quarter to a half of it being non-kosher we make sure our friend Ron has a nice haul of his own of non-kosher candy and other treats. Like the bakery that gave out freshly baked chocolate cookies. Or the store that gave out caramel apples. Yeah he is getting the good stuff. 😄<br />
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We did make it for about 20 mins of trick or treating on the main street at the businesses. Even though I managed to get out of work on time, they didn't get home from school until after 4pm and then getting them into costumes was a chore. Ahh well....maybe next year I'll get off from work and we'll be able to get started earlier. It would be nice to be able to visit all of the businesses on both sides of the street.<br />
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After dinner we went out and rang doorbells. Most of our neighborhood doesn't celebrate. It's so unlike when I was growing up and every house on my street had a light on and was giving candy. Now you're going down half a street just for one house to be lit up. I need to find a new neighborhood for this...<br />
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Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-67043532075169733512018-10-29T20:27:00.000-04:002018-10-29T20:27:08.124-04:00Flu shotI finally got my seasonal flu shot today! I usually get it much earlier on in October every year, but I had been waiting for my workplace to get them. Last night I even said to someone that if they weren't doing flu shots today that I was going to go to CVS tomorrow (on my day off) to get one. I was extremely excited and actually bounded down the hall when I heard one of my coworkers was doing the injections. It was actually really funny to have her give me the shot, and I must say she did a fantastic job. It didn't hurt almost at all when she did it, and my arm is only a tiny bit sore. Yay for vaccines!<br />
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I watched the end of the World Series last night, and Boston won. YAY! I had also watched part of game 3. Both games included several home runs, which was quite nice. It was kind of anticlimactic to have the last batter strike out, though. 😄 I felt bad for him, though. That must feel absolutely terrible. Not only losing the game and the World Series, but doing it by striking out. And I was very happy it did not go into extra innings. As it was I went to bed later than I wanted to!Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-86806753792417485912018-10-28T17:03:00.003-04:002018-11-20T09:33:23.498-05:002018 NICU ReunionEvery year I take the kids over to St. Elizabeth's for the annual NICU reunion. Families who had children in the NICU are invited to celebrate, and it's always around Halloween. People dress in costumes, and the kids have activities that they can do - fake tattoos, coloring, making Halloween decorations and masks, creating ghosts out of lollipops, and games. There's also ice cream and cake. And I'm known so well that the lady serving cake handed me the ice cream lid to show me it was kosher without me even asking. 😆<br />
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The kids had fun this year, as they always do.<br />
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Every year they also have professional photos taken. You can go up as many times as you'd like, but I only did one shot of the whole family. It was a miracle that everyone was looking at the camera and smiling!<br />
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I also look forward to seeing all of the doctors and nurses who I used to work with at St. Elizabeth's and those who also took care of me during my pregnancy, delivery and postpartum with the twins. Dr. Silvia Testa (pictured above) is the neonatologist who took care of the twins while they were in the NICU. I know I've posted about her and her husband previously on this blog. It's so special for her to see the twins and how much they've grown. I also ran into a patient of mine and her family (from when I worked at St. Elizabeth's on L&D) who had come to the NICU reunion last year as well. They recognized me within seconds, and it was so good to see them as well.<br />
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I took a bunch of pictures - mostly candid shots of the kids doing projects. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10101028262590419&type=1&l=b8f3a2405d" target="_blank">Click here</a> to see all of the NICU Reunion photos.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-40385944669307280462018-10-27T20:16:00.002-04:002018-10-28T17:05:07.860-04:00Post-Shabbos PostFriday's thoughts:<br />
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We got a few delicata squash the other day, and Shmuel made them for Shabbos dinner. He wasn't sure what to do with them after they were cooked, so I basically covered them with brown sugar and cinnamon, then raisins. THEY WERE SO GOOD! And the kids were fascinated by the fact that they could eat the skin. Tzipora may have been a bit horrified by the idea and made faces. Gavriella, unsurprisingly, refused to touch it. She has no idea what she missed out on. Dovid ate it with gusto. For a child that eats everything with gusto and finishes at least twice as much food as I do at dinner, he doesn't grow so much. If I ate like he did at dinner, I'd look like a balloon! If we could trade metabolisms (excluding the diabetes part), we'd be all set. 😄<br />
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I had a great week at work with a lot of happy moments, but also a few sad ones. Luckily the happy moments for my patients usually outweigh the unhappy ones. I adore my patients, and seeing them glowing with joy when they become pregnant is one of the highlights of my life.</div>
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I'm looking forward to the weekend, even though I am working this weekend. I'm hoping I'll get a decent amount of work done so that I can be ahead for the week to come. And then on Sunday afternoon we'll be going to the NICU reunion at St Elizabeth's! This is something we've done every year since the twins were very little, and the kids look forward to it every year. I will make sure to share pictures of it afterward.</div>
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Saturday's thoughts:<br />
Shock. Awe. Horror. None of these words even come close to what I felt when I read about the tragedy in <a href="https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation/2018/10/27/pittsburgh-police-report-active-shooter-near-synagogue/Vc5Wno0znEoPotQ0JtN25J/story.html?s_campaign=breakingnews:newsletter" target="_blank">Pittsburgh</a>. Jews...targeted only because they are Jewish. Shot while praying on the Sabbath. Murdered while celebrating the recent birth of a child. How something like this can happen in the United States in the modern world is beyond me. But shootings continue happening. I don't think armed guards are the answer. I don't think arming citizens is the answer. But unfortunately I do not know what the answer is. Hate is like a disease that spreads and causes people to do unthinkable things. I am angry. I am extremely sad. And I cried....I cried for the people who lost their lives today, for their families and friends, and for the world in general. What have we come to?</div>
Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-72664874646401745942018-10-25T18:48:00.000-04:002018-10-25T18:49:20.338-04:00Long Day of Not a Whole LotThese days are the most difficult to write about - the ones where I'm at work for 10 hours, come home to eat dinner, and see the kids for a little while before it's time for them to go to bed. Not a whole lot happens (generally).<br />
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I came home today to Gavriella asking if she could take her new purse to school for show and tell tomorrow. She's so excited about it, and I just love that, so of course I said yes - with the caveat that she better not lose it.<br />
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I forgot to add that during my Costco trip yesterday I bought a whole bunch of candy for Halloween. They have full size candy bars for REALLY cheap - we're talking 30 full size candy bars for $12. If anyone actually comes to my house for trick or treating, they are going to be in for a happy surprise. Most years we get a handful of kids (or less), so we'll see what happens. If we start handing out good candy I'm wondering if word will spread and people will make a special trip. I guess we will see!<br />
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Last night I did my best friend's nails for her work Halloween party (which was today). I should have taken a picture of them. Maybe when she gets home (she lives next door to me) I'll have her do it so I can share it with you. We put on a Halloween-themed Color Street set called "Bloody Gorgeous". Last night I also wrapped all of the presents I got the kids at Costco. It took a while, but at least now the presents are hidden, and even if the kids find the hiding place they won't know what's there.<br />
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My task for this evening is actually going through my old records from the days when I was doing fertility cycles and backdating entries into this blog so I can have a more well-rounded idea of what actually happened. I may possibly co-author a book about fertility and want to have an easy way to reference things for myself. Feel free to peruse through the ancient history 2006-2008 once my posts go live.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-815517353010604752018-10-24T22:51:00.003-04:002018-11-20T09:33:55.475-05:00Day offToday was one of my rare days off, but of course no mom has a real day off. 😄 My day was spent in appointments and running errands. I feel like I accomplished quite a bit, in fact. And I even went to Costco and bought (way too many) Chanukkah gifts for the kiddos. Apparently I should not be left alone in Costco. Especially not when there are LOTS OF BOOKS. Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Judy Blume, and Beverly Cleary are going to take up an entire bookshelf of their own in December. I got a few other things for them, too, which I am sure they will like.<br />
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I also made it over to the thrift store, something I never get to do because I almost never have a Wednesday off. The Brighton Allston Congregational Church on Washington Street has a thrift shop that's only open on Saturdays and Wednesdays. I can't shop on Saturdays, and I haven't had Wednesdays off in a very long time. When I passed by there today (several times) it reminded me that they were open! I browsed a bit - found a cute Chanukkah-themed art piece that I did not buy but gave me a chuckle. They frequently have random Jewish-themed items in the shop that I've noticed in the times I've been there, and this time was no different. They also usually have a collection of eclectic purses, and my girls all love purses. So for a few bucks I can make someone in my household very happy. I found a really cute purse that had rainbow colors, and I knew it had to come home with me. It was very quickly claimed by Gavriella.<br />
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I also found an adorable apple-shaped dish which I thought would be cool to put honey in for Rosh Hashana. Inside it are red and white polished "rocks," which I had assumed would not be included in purchasing the dish, but the man at the register told me to take them as well.</div>
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I spent a total of $2 at the thrift store. Can you believe it?</div>
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On another topic, there was a comment on my last post asking about how we're managing with Dovid's diabetes. We're actually doing quite well. He started on a pump over the summer and it's connected with a continuous glucose monitor. They work together to keep his blood sugar regulated, which is pretty nice. It's not perfect - as no machine can be - but I think his blood sugars have been a lot better than they were before. He's not venturing up into the 300 or 400s nearly as much as he used to. Dovid has gotten used to the carb calculations, pump changes, sensor changes, and finger sticks that go along with being a diabetic. It's never going to be easy, but we're managing. I'll have to get a picture of him showing off his pump. He is very proud of it, though he needs to learn to stop playing with it. Anything that's electronic or has buttons (and this has both) fascinates him, so he messes around with it. At one point he changed the language to Spanish. I was quite unhappy with him that day. He's still not gaining weight well, but he probably never will. He's always been skinny and being a diabetic doesn't really help on that front. And he eats really well, so it's not that he's not eating enough. But he's doing all right, and so far I haven't had complaints from his teachers about behavior this year, so that's something. Little miracles.</div>
Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-77056914596032279612018-10-23T22:00:00.000-04:002018-11-20T09:35:07.067-05:0010 months and countingIt's been far too long since I wrote on here, and I realized that I should write more accounts of what actually happens in my life. I used to have a diary as a kid, and I wrote in it every day. While I doubt I'd have to energy to update here every day, I'm going to make a concerted effort to do so. Here are my thoughts of the day:<br />
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I can't believe I've been at my "new" job for 10 months. I have never been so happy in a job. The environment is friendly, uplifting, and just plain fun. No one has a beef with anyone else. Everyone likes everyone else. We all get along. We are all friends. There are no cliques. It is like night and day from almost everywhere else I've ever been. I can easily see myself hanging out with these women on a regular day, and I'm a hermit. 😀 I've learned so many things and refined my knowledge in others. I feel confident in my ability to do my job. I enjoy what I do. I love and care about my patients (and they love me back, for the most part). I celebrate every pregnancy, but I also am sad when my patients graduate and go off to their OB/Gyn. I wish I could watch each of them grow (literally). And I can't believe that the patients who became pregnant when I started working there are now having their babies. It's uncanny!<br />
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Going back to my last blog post, which was back in January, I ended it with my desire to do two things:<br />
#1 Doing an IUI for a woman...and having her get pregnant and have a baby!<br />
#2 Calling someone with their positive (and increasing) beta.<br />
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Since then I have done several IUIs, and at least two of them have resulted in a pregnancy that is currently ongoing. One is at least halfway through her pregnancy, if not more, and one is more newly pregnant. So quite soon I will have completed #1.<br />
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As for #2, I have gotten to call MANY people with their positive and increasing betas! I've also been privileged to sit in on some OB ultrasounds and get to watch my patients' reactions to seeing their baby's heartbeat for the first time. That is without a doubt the best part of my job.<br />
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And amongst all of the happiness at my work, I am incredibly sad because one of my co-workers is leaving the practice to go elsewhere and today was our last day working together. She was my office-mate and taught me how to do my job. If I am considered a good IVF nurse, it's really because of her. I am going to miss her SO FREAKING MUCH, and I have no clue what I'm going to do being in that room without her wisdom, jokes, support, hugs, and smiling face. There is no one on earth who can replace her, and I can only hope that whoever comes in to take her spot is even half as amazing as she is. 💔<br />
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In other news, my a capella group (<a href="http://honorablemenschen.org/" target="_blank">Honorable Menschen</a>) had a concert this past weekend. Considering at least 3 of us had colds, I think we did a pretty incredible job. I was also extremely proud and honored to have my arranged version of Hallelujah LaOlam performed for the first time during the second half. Watch our concert below and enjoy!<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="500" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PLFpM1kz4cFnx9WH6RshtnpAii62CEPkTi" width="700"></iframe>Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-81668080894507627142018-03-04T18:12:00.000-05:002018-10-25T20:08:23.578-04:00Revisiting the PastSince I began working at a fertility clinic I became curious about my own path to motherhood. Unfortunately I was not a very good record taker or blogger up until I went through my IVF cycle. But even then I didn't mention doing injections or anything of that nature. I knew that I had, of course, but I didn't recall exactly what my protocol was.<br />
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So, I called up my old reproductive medicine clinic and had them send me my (ancient) records. The other day I received a very thick envelope from them and spent yesterday afternoon reliving the past and all of the cycles I had leading up to the conception of the twins.<br />
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In order to get this better documented, I have put in some (many) past-dated entries into my blog. It took a bit of time, but I'm hoping this will be interesting to someone aside from myself. Perhaps my kids (especially the twins) will enjoy seeing what their mom and dad had to do in order to have them?<br />
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In either case, I hope anyone that decides to come back in time with me enjoys the trip. I started with the earliest testing that was done way back in 2007, so that is where you begin to look for new entries.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-8970653873370622752018-01-10T19:49:00.001-05:002018-03-10T22:32:52.849-05:00New Year, New JobToward the end of last year, I decided I needed to make a change. Working nights was killing me physically, and I wasn't happy doing what I was doing. It wasn't necessarily the work itself, but a number of things. I started looking, and almost out of the blue was contacted by a company that I had submitted a resume to many months prior.<br />
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The company is a branch of a well-known fertility clinic. Anyone who has gone through fertility treatments has heard of CCRM (Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine). They are the top of the line in reproductive medicine - high quality, high success. Women and couples would fly from all over the country to Colorado just to be seen at this clinic. Eventually they figured why not bring the excellence of CCRM to the women so they don't have to travel so far. Hence, CCRM Boston was born! (haha get it?)<br />
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I have always had a passion for reproductive medicine, and I learned a great deal while going through fertility treatments. And if you've been following my blog since the beginning, you will remember all of that. :) I actually wish I had done a better job of blogging it, but I was a newbie and didn't really know what I was doing. I spent more time on the WebMD and Fertile Thoughts message boards in those days. Then I was made the beta (hCG) board coordinator on Fertile Thoughts and became somewhat of an expert in interpreting beta levels...something that comes in handy in my new job, but let's not get ahead of ourselves in my story.<br />
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I always knew I wanted to work in women's health, but after all I had been through in midwifery school and on L&D, I realized I didn't /need/ to work in birth to find fulfillment. I didn't even need to work as a midwife to be fulfilled. In fact, I had quite enjoyed my job as an OB/Gyn office nurse. I like office work. I've done enough secretarial and reception work to know that. I love computers and feel comfortable with them. I like working with patients...getting to know them....helping them.<br />
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So when CCRM Boston called, I jumped. Being an IVF Nurse Coordinator was almost like a calling. I felt like I knew reproductive medicine inside and out, and what I didn't know I could learn easily. From the moment I first stepped into the clinic during my interview, I knew this was where I belonged. And then...they hired me! To make a long story short, I'm getting to do something I absolutely love and feel like I'm dreaming every day that this is actually my life now. I'm putting all of the knowledge I gained during treatments to good use!<br />
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I have never felt more welcomed and loved in a workplace ever before. I feel valued and cherished. I'm giving it my all and loving every second of it. Even when I'm really busy, I still love it. I especially love it! I get to talk to patients and counsel them. I'm learning all about protocols and medications. I feel useful and competent, and I feel like part of the team even though it's been less than a month. I am seriously so happy - if you couldn't tell. Every day I am so grateful that I've been given this opportunity.<br />
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There are two things that I am looking forward to in this job that haven't happened (YET). #1 Doing an IUI for a woman...and having her get pregnant and have a baby! #2 Calling someone with their positive (and increasing) beta. It's only a matter of time! Baby dust to all. :)Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-16921110922563896312017-08-23T00:10:00.002-04:002018-11-20T09:35:40.208-05:00The Day Our Whole World ChangedWe've been having a lot of difficulty with Dovid over the last few months, and after blaming so many things for his issues, we've finally figured out what was really going on...<br />
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Since about June, Dovid has been drinking as though he could never get enough water. He would sneak down in the middle of the night, parched, and get himself water, even though we told him a thousand times not to. He would also sneak down for snacks. Then the pee accidents started. During the day, over night, you could never trust him not to pee. He was soaking everything, too - his bed, the couch... We blamed his medication, we blamed him just being lazy, we blamed the water before bed causing accidents (technically true, but there's more to it than just that). He also fell off the growth chart. Not that he's ever really been on it, but his plateaued, and his pediatrician was worried enough that she was going to send us to see a gastrointestinal doctor. In the meanwhile, I was going to take him to the child development clinic to see someone about his pee accidents.<br />
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Fast forward to last Sunday evening. We had a delightful party of sorts at our next door neighbor's house as a birthday celebration for our friend, Ron, whose birthday is this week. Dovid went to the bathroom (after having no less than 4 glasses of water) and stepped on their bathroom scale. He came out and proudly announced he weighed 39 lbs. *record screech* 39 lbs...he had been over 40 lbs at some point. He was not only not gaining weight, but now losing? And I know he's eating. As I said, he was sneaking snacks even! And he'd eat plenty at dinner. There was no excuse for him losing weight.<br />
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When I got home and sat down at my computer and really started thinking about it, my nursing brain kicked in. What else could make a kid drink, pee, eat, and lose weight? I got on Facebook and asked around for a glucose meter, and luckily a friend of mine down the street had a spare. I immediately went to get it, hoping I was being a hypochondriac nurse mother. She tested it in front of me, so I knew how to work it and that it actually worked properly. I took it home and tested Dovid while he was still asleep. The screen said "high glucose > 600". My hands shook. My heart sank. I ran down the stairs, screaming for Shmuel. I showed him the meter, because I couldn't actually say it out loud. He suggested I retest, even though I knew in my heart it would show no different. I went back up and used a different finger...same result. Crap. I asked my friend if she ever got a result that high. The answer was no. Double crap. We called the pediatrician, though I knew this was an automatic straight to the ER glucose result. Shmuel carried Dovid down to the car, and I took him to a local hospital (Newton-Wellesley).<br />
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At the ER, of course Dovid feels totally fine, just thirsty as all heck and asking every living being if he could have a glass of ice water. Don't let looks fool you, of course. They tested his glucose again...same result as at home. Well done, mom. They sent his sample to the lab to get an actual value...851. Triple crap. Luckily, somehow Dovid with all of his energy and water drinking managed to keep himself out of DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) for months with high sugars. He still had high ketones, but his blood pH was decent - just obviously compensated. After a bag of fluids and, yes, a nice glass of ice water, they gave him insulin and we were transferred via ambulance to Children's Hospital.<br />
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One last note about Newton-Wellesley is that they have child life specialists for pediatric patients who help when any procedures are done and give them activities to do (coloring, iPad, etc). She helped to educate him and calm him, and Dovid is a kid who HATED needles. He caused a major scene at CVS getting his flu shot last year. She also gave him a REALLY nice Lego set (for keeps). They really know how to treat children there, and I was very impressed with the way they handled everything.<br />
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These two pictures above are of Dovid in the ambulance. He was entirely enthralled, as this was his first time in one. Hopefully he will never need to see the inside of one strapped to a stretcher again.<br />
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At Children's, they repeated Dovid's blood sugar and labs, and of course it was all still high. Then he was admitted, but unfortunately they didn't have any "legit" rooms, so we got put into a treatment room. :( By this time I was so exhausted I was almost not coherent. Once we were settled, Dovid, who had at least gotten a few hours sleep, enjoyed time on the iPad while I was passed out in the bed. Once the day started in earnest, all manner of doctors, nurses, educators, and dietitians came to talk to us about diabetes care and treatment. We were lucky enough to be offered a chance to participate in their day program, so we could be discharged that night (Monday) and come back the next day (Tuesday) for education for the latter part of the day.<br />
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So far we are all hanging in. Dovid is a real trooper and has given us no problems with the finger sticks and insulin shots. I am incredibly proud of him and his maturity with all of this. He doesn't really seem perturbed, even when I have to keep him from eating long enough to count his carbs and give insulin. And he doesn't mind needles now...at least not the teeny insulin ones. I also felt so loved at the outpouring of support from everyone on Facebook and especially those (like Ron, our nanny (Melissa), my amazing neighbors, and the mom of one of Dovid's friends) who visited in person, brought me food, helped with the kids, and drove us home.<br />
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I never thought I would ever need to know about diabetes at all (aside from obvious nursing/midwifery related things), let alone get a crash course in type 1. Life is going to be a whole lot different, but we'll get through as we usually do. Now we just have to get Dovid onto a regimen where his sugars are controlled and hopefully get him a continuous glucose monitor and insulin pump. That at least will take some of the weight off. Until then, I better get to sleep. 2am is finger stick time.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-11098071109447830952017-05-14T19:33:00.000-04:002018-03-10T22:32:50.882-05:00Night At The Museum x3Costco had a really great deal on the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477347/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Night at the Museum</a> trilogy - $13 for all three in a DVD set. I could not pass that up, considering I've really wanted to see them and figured the kids would enjoy. So we may have binge watched them a bit.<br />
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The kids ADORED the movies. They've been deciding which of them is which character. So far Gavriella is Sacajawea, Tzipora is Jedediah, Chana is Octavius, and Dovid is King Akhmenrah. Which, of course, leaves me to be Teddy Roosevelt. I could have done much worse. haha<br />
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Each movie has is really great points, but I have to tell you the little Jewish pieces in the third one made me smile. There's a reference to Nicky's Bar Mitzvah and an entire (little) conversation between Larry and King Merenkahre (played by the amazing Ben Kingsley) that made me crack up. Speaking of Ben Kingsley, I just about freaked out when I saw him in the Egyptian pharaoh get up. Anyone who knew me well as a child would know I had a <strike>small</strike> (huge) obsession with the biblical Joseph. It started with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and wafted over to a made-for-TV movie called <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113483/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Joseph</a>, where Ben Kingsley plays Potiphar. As I've watched him as Potiphar probably a hundred times, seeing him play the pharaoh was pretty awesome and made my teenage heart flutter.<br />
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But Ben Kingsley wasn't even the best part of the third movie. That was Dan Stevens, of course, who played Sir Lancelot. They made just enough "Dan Stevens is hot" jokes to suit me. He did a fabulous job making Lancelot believable even when I can't not picture him as Matthew Crawley.<br />
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If you haven't watched the trilogy, definitely do it. Rent them or see if your local Costco has them. You're in for a good laugh (and a good cry).Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-37710260527683558402017-05-13T21:53:00.000-04:002018-03-10T22:32:51.643-05:00AnswersSince at least one person expressed interest, at some point I will tell you about my interesting genealogical findings. As for now, I'll give the answers to the questions I got in comments:<br />
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First off, Dovid. He has ADHD and is a challenge all around. He still has accidents because he gets so engrossed in things that he does so he doesn't make it to the bathroom on time. He also talks a lot and has difficulty with social interaction. So he doesn't realize that the other person wants him to be quiet or just isn't interested in what he's talking about. He doesn't talk about the other kids at school much (except for one boy who I don't think is a mutual friend), so I don't know if he really has any friends. I hate thinking about how lonely he must be. But B"H he is very smart, so academically he does quite well. I'm always impressed with the things that he knows.<br />
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Right now not TTC and not planning on any more kids in the near future. I am quite content (and overwhelmed) with 4. Maybe once these guys get older and less of a handful I might have a change of heart, but I am too busy to think otherwise at this point.<br />
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As for work, I cannot get into a midwifery practice because no one wants a new graduate midwife (especially one without many years of labor & delivery experience). So I'm a bit stuck unless I want to go into a home birth practice or private practice, neither of which is a viable option for me.<br />
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I'm getting my doctor of nursing practice degree in midwifery, though at this point I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. My end goal was to be a midwife, and now I just feel so worn out by it that I think retirement is my end point. hahaElana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-69641790869140348802017-05-12T11:00:00.000-04:002018-11-20T09:35:59.883-05:00Finger SurgeryI had a small cyst removed from my finger last Tuesday, and it HURTS. I was expecting to go in, have it removed, and be sent home with a bandaid, but no... It has stitches and a HUGE dressing. Doctor also said I can't lift heavy things with that hand. So now I'm out of work for at least a week and a half. I'm not happy. My boss is not happy. And my finger hurts because this dressing is cumbersome and tight. I am seriously contemplating having one of my coworkers take out the stitches before the family reunion next week if I can't get in to see the doctor before then. It's a good thing I'm a righty.<br />
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Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-68156240017353231082017-05-11T22:19:00.002-04:002018-03-10T22:32:52.448-05:00New StethoscopeI probably shouldn't be typing so much since I had my finger operated on the other day, but I seriously have to tell you about my new stethoscope.<br />
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Thanks to a VERY good friend of mine, I was able to purchase a new <a href="https://ekodevices.com/purchase-eko-core-electronic-stethoscope" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Eko Core Digital Stethoscope</a>. I tried it out the other day, and the magnification of the sound is unbelievable. I have a really hard time hearing breath sounds and heart sounds, and this could pick up my breath sounds through a thick sweater. Not only that, but when I used it at work, I had a nice little shock. I was trying to listen to a patient's heartbeat, but another sound kept intruding. I knew it wasn't a murmur or breath sounds or even bowel sounds. It was much too regular for any of those. It hit me that I was listening to her baby. I could hear fetal heart tones through the mom's chest. THAT IS UNREAL! Why can we not use this technology instead of cumbersome dopplers on belts that constantly need adjusting?<br />
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Also cool about it is that it connects via bluetooth to a phone app (one that I can't get because my phone is too old, but whatever). On the app you can listen to sounds in realtime or record and play back later. Quite useful for teaching or passing along sounds to other doctors who may not be available to see the patient immediately. Wish the app was compatible with my phone, but it's not 100% necessary for my job right now, so I'll just enjoy being able to hear down to someone's toenails for now.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-43925002620079216782017-05-11T21:21:00.000-04:002018-03-10T22:32:51.688-05:00You Miss Me?How surprised was I today to see that someone was looking for an update and that I hadn't posted anything since last August when I became a CNM. I'm not really sure why I don't update more. I am busy - doing my DNP, working, kids - but not so busy that I can't take a few minutes to say hello to anyone who is still reading. *waves to all of my "fans"*<br />
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The nine months have not been particularly eventful. The twins are in 2nd grade and doing fairly well. Dovid is on a medication that has made him much easier to handle at school, though he still struggles with anything related to social interaction. Chana is progressing steadily and hopefully will be able to continue on to 3rd grade with Dovid next year. Tzipora has whizzed her way through kindergarten and can read! She's got a lot of sight words down, and we are all super proud of her. She also is friends with basically her entire class. Gavriella is also having fun in her first year at "school" in the 3-year-old class. She's an adorable gem, and I love it when her teachers send me photos of all of the fun things she is doing in class.<br />
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As for me, I /finally/ got a job, but not as a midwife. I was hired to work as a labor and delivery nurse (part-time nights). This is not ideal, but it is work. Meanwhile, I am plugging along with my doctoral studies and will hopefully finish in September. At that point you can all call me doc. :D<br />
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In about a week, we're going to be attending a family reunion with my grandfather and people from that side of the family that none of us have met. My mom, Uncle Ron, my sister and brother-in-law will also be there. It's going to be very exciting, and I promise to take lots of pictures and actually post about it. Maybe I'll get back into a groove or something... Feel free to leave a comment if you want me to post about something in particular. I feel as though I don't know what to talk about. I've made some pretty interesting genealogical discoveries over the past few months, but I doubt they would be interesting to anyone outside of my family.Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-19199329654432031212016-08-17T23:46:00.000-04:002018-11-20T09:36:13.162-05:00Certified Nurse MidwifeI know I do not post here very often, but exciting things don't happen very often, and I have no idea if anyone even comes to look at my blog any more. My day to day life seems pretty dull to me, especially because I have been in school for so long (seems like forever). None of my kids remember a time when I wasn't in school studying for something. They have no idea who Mommy is when she doesn't have her nose in a book. I started my pre-requisites for nursing school in January 2010, when my twins were not even a year old. My now 5-year-old was conceived during my first semester of pre-requisites, and my almost 3-year-old was born about two months after becoming an RN. My goal from day one was to become a midwife, even though it seemed like that day would never come.<br />
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It took six and a half years of blood, sweat, and many tears. These last few semesters of midwifery clinicals nearly broke me entirely. There were times when I wondered if I really should be doing this. I was beaten down so hard that I thought I would never graduate, even after spending all of that time and money. But, after eight months of clinicals, I did graduate (finally!). I got my congratulatory email from my school the day after my birthday last week. But even though that gave me my master's in nursing, I still could not call myself a midwife. Not until today...<br />
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Today I passed the AMCB (American Midwifery Certification Board) exam which makes me a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife).<br />
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I took this selfie right after getting into my car after passing the exam. I studied my brains out over the last week, and it paid off.<br />
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I wish I could tell you that I'm done with school, but there is one piece left for me to accomplish. I am going to do my school's 9-month DNP program for my doctorate. Once that is finished I will be 100% done with school, and then you'll be able to call me Dr. Kahn. (I've always wanted to be called that. See 90's Nickelodeon TV show Salute Your Shorts if you don't know why.)<br />
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My next step is to find a midwifery position in my area, though that is proving to be somewhat difficult. I have interviewed at several hospitals, but most (if not all) places want someone with at least some midwifery experience or at least some labor and delivery RN experience. I have neither. In the meanwhile, I will be working at Roxbury Community College as a maternity clinical instructor for their nursing students and hopefully will pick up some doula clients to keep improving birth on a small scale even if I'm not working as a midwife (yet).Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-71787445898904463982015-08-09T09:33:00.000-04:002015-08-09T09:56:20.719-04:00An Open Letter to Every Hospital in Boston (and the Rest of the USA)<p>Dear Hospital Administrators,</p><br>
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As a hospital, you provide an essential service to the communities where you are located. Your staff saves lives daily. They care for people when they are sick and help them heal so they can return home. This is probably one of the most valuable services in existence, and you have a difficult job. You need to make sure your staff are the best so you can be the best, which is why I understand why hiring experienced doctors and nurses is appealing. Unfortunately, this is causing huge problems for new graduates.
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I have spent over two years looking for a permanent job. I have spoken with countless nursing recruitment agencies only to have each one turn me away because I didn't have experience. Well, of course I don't have experience; no one will hire me! I have submitted my resume numerous times to every hospital within an hour's drive of Boston (and sometimes more), yet I can count on one hand how many interviews I've had, and I still do not have a permanent position. Every time I am brought in somewhere, I hear the same refrain: "Oh, we really need to hire someone with experience." Well, I'm very pleased that you brought me in for an interview, but why did you bother when you knew from my resume that I don't have the experience you are looking for?</p><p><br>
I became a nurse for the sole purpose of working in women's health, most preferably in labor and delivery. This has been my passion since I was a child, and it is the only type of nursing that I want to do. But for two years I have only been able to give flu shots, work per diem on med/surg, and assist in procedures to combat hair loss. I have not treated a single pregnant woman in the entire two years since I received my nursing license. I am forced to work in fields that I don't enjoy or feel comfortable in, because I need to feed my family, and being out of work entirely for two years (or more) just wasn't an option. If you look poorly on my resume now, can you imagine what a two year gap would look like? "So...how come you haven't been working for the last two years?" "Well, so far no one has given me the chance to work in the field that I am dedicating my life to, so I'm still looking..."
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And I am not even close to the only person having this problem. Any beginning nurse who wants to work in a hospital specialty will face the same thing. He or she may need to begin by working in a nursing home, and at some point she may be lucky enough to get a job on med/surg and possibly someone in that hospital will allow her to switch to a specialty after a few years. A few years of doing something you don't enjoy or want to do just for the possibility that eventually someone will take pity on you and let you work in the specialty you joined nursing for! That's unacceptable.
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I've been working my brain off in school to become a midwife. I finished an entire 18 month BSN program in 6 months so I could apply to midwifery school. I have a 4.0 GPA in a full-time midwifery MSN program even though I'm working part to full time for an agency. But that means nothing to recruiters who are looking for 2, 3, 5, 10 years of experience when they are hiring nurses for their maternity floors. I would be an absolutely incredible maternity nurse, and I am stuck caring for everyone except pregnant women. I start clinicals for my midwifery program in about 3 months. I will be catching babies myself...managing labors...treating women in the office...diagnosing illness...all under the watchful eye of my preceptor. And when I finish that, I can graduate and become a licensed CNM. Then what?
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I am faced with the fear of being unable to find a job even once I have an MSN in midwifery and am licensed to practice as a CNM. Why? Because I have no experience working on L&D or postpartum. New graduate CNMs do not appear to be as discriminated against as new graduate nurses, but hiring administrators still would prefer someone with some type of maternity experience. Great... And once I have my CNM license will someone want to hire me as an L&D nurse now that I'll have about 6 months of experience? No. Because they would know that isn't what I want to do with my life, and they would believe I would take a job as a midwife if one became available.
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I am horribly stuck with no foreseeable end. This type of discrimination against new graduate nurses and nurses without direct specialty experience needs to stop. You want someone with experience? Give someone a chance to prove themselves and give them the gift of experience. In some ways, hiring a new graduate is a GOOD thing. She's fresh, not worn out or jaded. She wants to learn and do a great job. She'll learn how to do things YOUR way rather than stick with what she's been doing for the last ten years whether it's evidence-based or not. New grads are up to date on the latest nursing practices, too.
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How can we fix this? Have nurse residency programs like the ones for doctors. Teach nurses how to be excellent in a specialty. If you want them to get some med/surg experience first, then put them on a med/surg floor for 6 months or a year before transitioning them to the specialty floor. But that transfer needs to be a guarantee, and they need to be properly trained. Make a commitment to giving jobs to new graduates and nurses without specialty experience. Be a part of the solution. Every time I see a job description that says "2 years L&D or postpartum experience required" I die a little inside. You hospital administrators have no idea how painful it is to be turned away before even applying for a position. And it happens daily, because I check your postings daily for the one that slips by and doesn't have that line added. Had one of you hired me straight out of nursing school, by now I would have two years of experience.
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Rather than throwing those "inexperienced" resumes into the trash, I implore you to read through and see if that nurse would be a good fit for your floor, regardless. You might be throwing away the opportunity to shape someone into a fantastic specialty nurse. You could be missing out on having the most energetic, caring, thoughtful, safe, and passionate nurse you could find for that job (i.e. me). Experience isn't everything, though it is definitely valuable. Yesterday was my birthday, so perhaps this year could you give me the gift of experience in a job I would excel at?
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Sincerely,
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Elana Kahn, RNElana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935341298511526620.post-1441639040163719962015-07-14T17:29:00.001-04:002018-11-20T09:36:41.912-05:00Day Trip to New HampshireMy very dear friend, Alexis, sent me a text last Friday, telling me she was in my area (read: within a 100 mile radius) and asked if I would like to see her and spend some time up at the lake. Well, considering how often I get to see Alexis, there was no way I was going to pass up the chance. So, I got in the car and drove two hours north to the middle of nowhere in New Hampshire to spend two hours at the lake.<br />
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Being there was like being back at camp. It felt so right, and I wish I could have stayed longer. Just being out in nature is incredible enough, but getting to spend time among people I love at the same time made it extraordinary. The water there is so clear you can see right down to the bottom, and it's so shallow by the shore that I could have easily caught a fish with my bare hands. Hopefully I'll be able to take the kids up with me next time so they can go swimming, ride in a boat, and of course they'll get to see Alexis and her family!<br />
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Enjoy the pictures of the hidden beauty that can be found just hours from the bustle of Boston.<br />
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<embed flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=https%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2F110318886617263035708%2Falbumid%2F6171473478544589521%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26authkey%3DGv1sRgCLyhsNSQhvfmHw%26hl%3Den_US" height="500" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" src="https://photos.gstatic.com/media/slideshow.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="700"></embed>Elana Kahnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17800005978714797988noreply@blogger.com1